Judge, 1903-05-30 · page 3 of 18
Judge — May 30, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains satirical commentary on Indiana's geography and characteristics, along with unrelated comic sketches. The main text mocks Indiana as an "agricultural state" with unremarkable features—its soil, booms (economic and literal plant growth), and general character. The satire presents Indiana as unremarkable and emphasizes its flatness and lack of distinction. The lower illustration labeled "NO WONDER" depicts a wealthy uncle on horseback telling a child (Crolly) that he is "very rich" and the child's sole heir. The child (Edith) replies she's unsurprised by his generosity—the joke being the uncle's obvious wealth makes his willingness to share an inheritance logical rather than remarkable. The page's various section headers ("THE USUAL WAY," "NO ROOM FOR HIM") introduce separate comic vignettes unrelated to the main Indiana satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘THE FUTURE GEOG- RAPHY. se JOHNNY WISE,” says the teacher of the class in physical geography in the year 1940, “you may tell us what are the principal characteristics of the state of Indiana.” “Indiana,” responds the pupil, “is a thriving agricultural state. Its soil is especially adapted to the culture and_prop- agation of all species of political booms. There the common or garden variety of senatorial boom may be seen flour- ishing in rank luxuriance with no cultivation what- ever. The gubernatorial boom grows magnificent- ly along the banks of the Wabash, and the post- office boom springs up on every hillside at in- tervals of four years. The presidential boom grows there better than in any other section of the country. It often attains a height that is amazing, and throws out its feelers until they reach across the state- line.” “What other inter- esting fact do you know concerning Indiana ?” “In 1909, in a hith- erto unexplored section of Posey county, there was discovered an active volcano, erupting thousands of tons of dialect poetry and historical novels. ‘The finding of this volcano was hailed by scientists as a welcome explanation ot the mysterious flooding of the country with these book: “What are the occupations of the inhabitants of Indiana, Johnny ?" “The men all run inter-urban trolley lines, edit newspapers, or hold office. The women be- long to clubs.” “What do the chil- dren do?” “The children in Indiana begin writing comic opera at an early age, and unless this ten- dency is curbed they in- evitably progress to the hopeless stage of the dis- ease, when they spend all their time inventing new dialect expressions.” “You may bound the state.” “Indiana is bound to be heard from.” ‘THE USUAL WAY. First actor— This having to walk back to New York is pretty tough.” Second actor—“Yes. This is what comes of starting out in a play called *The Automo- bile" NO ROOM FOR HIM. THE reckless automo- bilist pulls up at the foot of the cinder-path and toots two or three times, until the iron gate of the warm regions AN EXPLOSION. opens caudously. 5 Cholly says that his auto fs a bang-up machine—what kind ts that?" sn Whatdo you want, “I'm sure | don't know; but it has exploded three times already, | believe. * sir?" asks Mephistoph- eles. “ Want to come in,” answers the automobilist. “T guess not!" cries Meph. as the door clangs shut. “There's trouble enough in here since 1 admitted a bunch of golf-players. They've got all my imps caddying for them. If I let you come in you'll make this place too hot to hold me.” NO WONDER. CnoLty— My uncle is very rich, and | am his sole heir."” Epiu—' No wonder he hangs on to life so!” comicbooks.com