Judge, 1903-01-31 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 31, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces and cartoons typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine humor: **"Swapping Antiques"** and **"The Duel Was Off"** are comedic anecdotes about domestic life and masculine posturing—likely poking fun at marriage tensions and men's exaggerated concerns about honor. **"The Janitor Again"** appears to mock Shakespeare references and pretension, while **"A Dental Comment"** makes a pun about storms filling teeth with gold. **"A National Uprising"** satirizes military bureaucracy and incompetence, with an American general's confusion about agricultural regulation. The bottom cartoons labeled **"Very Unfeminine"** and **"They Mistook the Meaning"** show domestic/social misunderstandings—likely targeting evolving gender roles and class pretensions of the era. The humor relies on visual gags and wordplay typical of period satirical magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SWAPPING ANTIQUES. Y WIFE ransacked both high and low— Tears were of no avail— And sent three-quarters of our goods Off to a rummage sale. And now she’s patronized a few, And, to my grief and pain, Has bought two loads of worthless truck And filled our house again, Jon CONE, THE DUEL WAS OFF. SOYVELL, Pat, did you fight that duel with Simpson that you threatened 2” ine quired Frisbie “Oi did not, sorr,” replied Patrick. “You weren't afraid, were you?” “Oi wuz not, sorr; but, ye see, Oi ama Simpson is thin.” “Well, sorr, Oi thought it would only be fair fer me t'shtand nearer t' him than him t' me whoile we wuz shootin’, sorr; but the umpires wouldn't listen to it, an’ so there wuz no duel.” THE JANITOR AGAIN. LEAR, having braved the winter storm, arrived at poor Tom's hut. “ But why,” inquired the fool, “don't you ask the janitor to turn the heat on?" “1 did,” replied the king with wandering mind; but it was a game of freeze-out.” Perceiving that Shakespeare was getting things muddled, the old man went mad. A DENTAL COMMENT. HE wild wind blew o'er the Klondike vale, Biting and blustering, fierce and cold. ¢ dentist smiled as he viewed the gale— The tecth of the storm have been filled with gold.” A NATIONAL UPRISING. oe PERSONALLY: Tshould send these troops in,” said the American general in the next war, indicating the position of the regulars on his map. “Then why not do so, sir?” asked his chief-of-staff. “Because the former secretary of agriculture has a regiment which he insists shall have a chance, and the late chairman of the house military committee declares that his brigade of street-sweepers must not be overlooked.” “War is hades !" muttered the chief-of-staff sympathetically. VERY UNFEMININE. “Ethel is such a manly sort of girl!" “Oh, very. Why, when a burglar got into her house last week she crawled under the bed Instead of tackling him." UNQUALIFIED. First South American—* Faugh! Think of that man pretending to be a statesman! Why, he knows absolutely nothing of political econom Second South American—" should say he didn't. Why, he couldn't tell a revolution from a North-American college-yell." Awtnt Beene THEY MISTOOK THE MEANING. IRATE PATRON: zle-dazzle me. you waiters a tip" — Look here, you dingy hen-robber! You can't raz~ ed to eating in swell restaurants, and I'll give Crorus—‘ It's mine, boss—it's mine! Gimme! One fo’ me! comicbooks.com