Judge — January 31, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLIGHED WEEKLY AT THE JUDGE BUILDING, 110 FIYTI. AVENUR, NEW TORK. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or $2 numbers One copy, su months, of 28 numbers - re copy or three weeks ding the CunrsTaas juoce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS~To all foreign countnes mn the postal union, #ho0 a year. Wesveax Orrict—S28-829 Marpuete Building, Oucage. FOROPEAN SALKS-AGKDCTS—/nternational news company, Brea FC tom ms Brentan'n, atenue de F Opera, Parts: Comanye The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Briais. Iafringemeat ofthis copyright will be promplly aed vigorously prosecated. ConTRIBUTORS ed and self-addressed envelo found wnavailable canaot be guara eat fo the Art Department should have the sender's fall er nor building, Chancery lane, Saarbach's news erchange, Mains, with all mazuscripts, tee AT PRESENT the ashes should follow the flag-stones. eee THE OPINION of the south regarding the negro is largely shared by the north, so far as his value and services to society are con- cerned. And this double-barreled opinion, if we may so put it, is that the black man is unsur- passed as a domestic servant so long as the valu- ables of the establishment by which he is em- ployed are in the safe-deposit company and the refrigerator locks like a safe; and also that he is a star of the first magnitude as a boot-burnisher and as the acolyte of the horse-trainer. It is the consensus of opinion that he was never intended to hold public office, nor to administer the affairs of anything, from a hen-house to the highly-col- ored chariot from which the fighting food known as ‘coffee and sinkers” is dispensed on the public thoroughfares. “Just at present the south is sour and sore, not to say cast down and dis- gruntled, because of the recent act of President Roosevelt in appointing negroes to fill federal offices in the southern states. The south refuses to be soothed or consoled, but lifts up its voice in lamentation and threatens the negro official with all sorts of violence. The south, which also wants. to know why the president does not appoint ne- groes to public office in the north, is probably laboring under the impression that he does not know his business, to put it in plain English, and Hi | IK Mi) New Yorn jupce—** > » Orricer—“Yis, yer honor. that he does not know what is good for the south, as well as what is good for the negro. The south will learn after a while that it has a good, solid friend in Mr. Roosevelt, who is a broad, level-headed American in the strictest sense of the term; and the sooner that this large, imperial, eight- een-karat fact is understood and appreciated in all its broad-gauge glory the sooner will it be in order for the fire-eaters to change their tune and chant the festive palinode, and be as friendly to Mr. Roosevelt as Mr. Roosevelt is trying to be friendly to the south, whose welfare and pros- perity he has quite as much at heart as he has the welfare and prosperity of the north. VEN in the season of hibernation the bear is often as much in evidence in his native jungle as he is, stuffed, at the portal of the furrier. When he capers gracefully athwart the sparkling snowdrift, dreaming of next year’s huckleberry crop and dancing a mad fandango to the music of the wind in the hemlock, he is quite forgetful of the hunter who would shoot him to death and cut his carcass into steaks and roasts, and boil his grease into a swift hair-renewer, and fashion his skin into a sartorial envelope ora parlor-rug. It is not a high compliment to the bear to use him asa figure to represent the trusts, and we think that perhaps an apology is due him when we consider that the wolf is the animal with an appetite whose edge can never be turned. The bear does not know that he is being hunted officially, or that he is official game for the official hunter, who looks to it that there is no game-law on him at any time of the year. He never knows when he is hit, although he may be hit very often, for the reason that the right kind of ammunition is not used on him. In other words, this trust bear is hunted by hunters who do not hunt to kill. They may make much noise to attract public attention and to allay public anxiety, but the missiles have about as much effect on the trust bear as would so-many rain-drops on an alligator. Mr. Roosevelt is an experienced hunter, and it is not going too far to say that Hoar, Littlefield, Cannon and Hanna are more or less familiar with the details of shooting and trapping; and while they do not trap it is because trapping makes no noise and attracts no attention. The trust bear chuckles and chortles and burbles and babbles with the fat-pro- ducing laughter which, according to tradition, causes the suspenders to dis- integrate and the buttons to fly into space.” The trust bear feels that he is being tickled externally by these harmless missiles to the same extent that he is tickled internally when he has whirled himself gracefully around the honey that is made by bees and not of glucose. He smiles an unctuous smile when he observes Mr. Hanna put the putty-blower to his lips with the air of one about to render a cornet solo, and he is full of madcap antics when he.notes the bean-shooter in Mr. Littlefield’s hand, or the penny pop- gun in the digits of Mr. Hoar, and instead of running away he assumes «t standing posture and whirls the festive saraband of joy. He is willing to be shot at, and does not make any attempt at keeping out of the way of these official Nimrods, for the very good reason that he knows quite well he is in the hands of his friends, who would fill him to repletion with the mince-pie and the peanuts of the realm, and top the banquet with a long, soothing draught of rum and honey, to keep him happy and thereby add to his more or less rosy rotundity. Mr. Roosevelt is too good a hunter not to know the right kind of ammunition to bring down the game of which he is in quest. And we do not think it necessary to tell him what he and his colleagues and compatriots well know—that if they would annihilate the trust bear they must use more powerful engines of destruction than bean- shooters, putty-blowers and pop-guns, which only amuse Bruin and makes him feel his importance as the chief actor in this national farce-comedy.. A 8 Ai ACCOUNTED FOR. * say you arrested this man for trying to run a gambling-house ?" He was thryin’ t' run Alderman Kelly's gamblin'-house out av th’ ‘steenth precinct. He's wan av th’ reformers, yer honor." comicbooks.com