Judge, 1901-10-05 · page 4 of 16
Judge — October 5, 1901 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **"The Last Stage"** mocks aging performers, specifically ballet dancers forced into lesser theatrical roles. **"A Hopeless Case"** presents a patient obsessed with inventing golf variations—satire on eccentric hobbyists. **"Judge's Favorites"** credits Ethel Houston du Pré with witty observations about society. **"Tell Me, Lovely Pinks"** is sentimental poetry about forgotten flowers and lost love—likely satirizing Victorian sentimentality. **"A Kedge Anchor"** jokes about a square-driver (golfer) whose physical strength exceeds his skill. **"Frugality"** features a dialogue where a father explains poets are cheap to produce. **"She Held It"** shows a woman with a falling object—the caption suggests misfortune befalling her. These are typical Judge humor pieces: social commentary, observational comedy, and light mockery of middle-class life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE LAST STAGE. Thespis—“What does a woman do when she becomes too old to be a ballet dancer ?" Foyer —" Becomes a child actress.” A HOPELESS CASE. Altendant —" This patient is perfectly rational except upon one subject.” Visttor—“And what is that?” Altendant—" He im- agines he has invented a method of playing golf with only one club.” JOYS OF SUBUR- BAN LIFE. Mrs. Younghusband —“Hasn’t baby been good? He hasn't cried JUDGE'S FAVORITES, a bit on the way to the station.” ETHEL HOUSTON DU FRE, d SETTING ous voice — “He's saving up so he THe WAND-GLass (reflectively) —* Deat, dear! How rapidly Aman- pihs of tone-mystery, on Recaiinat ea at carte Be ey damit 0 can cry all the way on the 2 Comb has aged! Why, she's hardly got a tooth left Wherefore, in your name, this prediction we'll dare: Paes A bright star is rising, from out Castle Square. train.’ TELL ME, LOVELY PINKS, H, TELL me. tell me, lovely pinks, what is it round you clinging ? ] "A spiced sweet of far-off lands forgotten memories bringing? In perfume of your fringed bloom comes back to me in seeming ‘The fairest craft that ever sailed across earth's waters gleaming. Remember, aye, how still she was, and yet so softly smiling, Her eyes so darkly, gently blue my honest heart beguiling ; Sweet pinks, she wore you on her breast, her warm white breast en- folding, "Twas you she lifted to her lips, her supple fingers holding. We never reached that happy port, the port for which we started ; ‘That dream has passed from out my life, yet I'm not broken-hearted. And as I scent your spicy breath, ‘tis more divine than human — I believe, O pinks! ‘twas you I loved, and not that fickle woman, 1B. GARLAND, CAUSE FOR JOY. First tramp —*"1 got an awful stone bruise on my heel yesterday.” Second tramp —" You ought to be thankful that it’s not a soap-stone bruise.” A KEDGE ANCHOR. FRUGALITY. SQUIRREL DRIV ! What can be the matter with the brute? He used to pull Say, pa, why are poets born and not made? a bigger load than this. SHE HELD IT, see ree ted eine Hag! eek oat “ob! Ont" Bat all is fish that comes into Aer net, comicbooks.com