Judge — October 5, 1901 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge’s Funny Stories by Serious People, and Vice Versa. A PAYING INVESTMENT. By Tom Masson. CHAPTER 1. DON'T mind your losing my money, dear,” said Mrs. Dabble- ton; “that is—I suppose I shall have to stand that part of it anyway. But it’s the disgrace of the whole affair—the family talk. 1 know it,” said Dabble- “that's the worst part of it What an ass I was anyway. “I'm not excusing myself « * he went on, bitterly. “And to think it was a gold mine!" “Now look here,” exclaimed his wife, practically, “It's done, and you've told me all about it, and I've cried over it for two whole days, and you've explained how it happened over and over again, until I’m just tired to death.” “ L know it,” said Dabbleton, “ It's done and can’t be helped. Well, there's one thing, it might be worse. I don’t know that it need make any difference in our living, anyway. Of course, your income 1s cut off, but I've always made enough for us both to swing along on; and by Jove! when you come to think of it, why need anyone know anything about it? Yes, when you come to think of it, there’s really no reason why we should say a word to anyone, No one knows it but you and 1, and as long as people don’t notice any difference in our expenses out- wardly, why they won't suspect a thing.” Mrs. Dabbleton’s face brightened. “That's true,” she said, reflectively. ‘Of course, we must keep up appearances. Why, if we made the slightest change, the whole family would know it at once, and they're so inquisitive.” “T should say they were !” exclaimed Dabbleton. “ Why, we can’t move with- out their wanting to know all about it. There's Uncle Samuel.” “ He's awful!” ejaculated Mrs. Dab- bleton. “No, he isn’t awful,” responded Dab- bleton. “ Uncle Samuel is all right. He takes a natural interest in my affairs. And besides, you know how shrewd the old man is. Why, I wouldn't have him know I had lost this money for anything.” “He'll find out if he can,” replied Mrs. Dabbleton. “I really believe he goes home every Saturday night and counts up just how much you have spent.” “Well, Ul fool him this time,” said her husband; “even if we have to lean a little the other way. My dear, I cannot tell you how badly I feel about this miser- able affair. But you mustn't lose confi- dence in me. I've got my health, and a fairly good business, and I'll just put my shoulder to the wheel and make this up to you.” At this point Miss Estelle Dabbleton entered the room. ” Papa,” she said, with that fond. anxious look that daughters assume when they wish for something very doubtful in the getting ; “ papa. how about that birthday party of mine?” Dabbleton turned around decidedly, and almost took her off her feet. “You shall have it,” he said.“ You shall have it, and a new gown to boot, and so shall your mother. We must keep our end up at alll costs.” And from that day, a new era dawned on the Dabbleton household. CHAPTER II, TOM MASSON. It was a bright, cheerful evening six months later. Mrs. Dabbleton sat doing fancy work, and her husband was reading a story aloud. Sud- denly she stopped him, and said: “ Lay down your book, dear. I was just thinking how happy we have been since that money of mine was swallowed up in that gold mine. Before that happened, you were wor- ried to death all the time, and acted as if you were afraid to spend a cent. But just because you didn’t want people to find it out, you've been as good as you could be. Yes, Henry, you've really leaned the other way.” “'T've tried to, but, my dear, you mustn't think that I've done it be- cause of mere vanity. I wanted to keep up appearances because I didn't want folks to tind out I had made such a fool of myself, but | also had a feeling of remorse, and, as I said then, | was determined to make it up to you.” ** At this point Miss Estelle entered the room.” 1 can't fool an old stager like me, I've been watching you, Henry. getting prosperous.” You' “Well, dear, you have,” replied his wife, with a look of admiration, “There! I wonder who 's ringing the bell ? “That,” said Dabbleton, rising and going to the door, “ Samuel, I'll bet. It’s about time he paid us a ” The door opened, and Uncle Samuel entered. v'ning, Henry,” said Uncle Samuel to Dabbleton, * Ev‘ning, Mary,” he said to Mrs. Dabbleton. Thought I'd come ‘round and see how you were getting on.” “That's right,” said Dabbleton cordially. “Glad you did.” But it was evident that Uncle was not wholly at ease. There was a pause. Then he stirred in his chair, and turned to his nephew. “Henry,” he said, “fact is, I've got something on my mind. Henry. you're getting prosperous.” Dabbleton shook his mournfully “ Yes, you are,” said his Uncle Sam- uel. “Yes, you are, Henry. You can’t fool an old stager like me. I've been watch- ing you; Henry. perous.”” Dabbleton smiled. you think so, Uncle ?” he asked. “Well,” said Uncle Samuel, noticed it myself, and I'v out to me. Look at that birthday party you gave Estelle. Then you got your life insured, and for a large amount.” “ How did you know that ?” queried Dabbleton, amused. * Don’t I know Bud Tyler, the agent aid Uncle Samuel. “| stopped smoking to do that. * That's all right; that’s always the way it affects a man when he be- gins to accumulate. Then look at the clothes Mary wears.” His Uncle Samuel winkcd solemnly.“ It’s that gold mine.” “ How did you know I had a gold mine?” Well, | happened to meet Jackson one day. Now, Henry, I want to know the name of that mine. I've got a few spare dollars to inves Dabbleton made up his mind in a jiffy. “Uncle Samuel,” he said, “I'm going to make a clean breast of it. That gold mine was a gold brick. I lost all we had in it—every cent.” Uncle Samuel got up slowly and started to button up his coat, There was a slightly hurt expression on his shrewd old face. Then he said: “ You're a pretty big liar. I'm glad for your sake that you're smart enough to keep a good thing to yourself.” And after he had gone, Mrs. Dabbleton said to her husband : “1 don’t know after all, my dear, but I'm glad you lost all that money. We've been a good deal happier ever since, and now we've got rid of your Uncle Samuel.”” 9 coy Aldavres is Uncle amuel head half You're getting pros- “What_makes * Tve had it pointed comicbooks.com