Judge — October 5, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

dpe PUBLISHED ONCE 4 WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. Terms to Subscribers. UNITED STATES AMD CANADA It ADVANCE, One copy, one year. or $2 numbers - $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2. One copy, for thirteen weeks - facluding the Cuaistmas Judai FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a year. ster, Boyce bu 8. wees company: Bream’s building, Chancery lane, we del Opera, Paris: Saarbach's mews exchange, Mains. CORNER FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. (7 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly In the world. E9- NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoon are protected by copyright in both the United ‘and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Ree CONTRIBUTORS must taclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscripts, otherwis ira of the latter when found uaavallable cannot be guare anteed. DRAWINGS and all other contributions sent to the Art Department should have the seader’s full name and address written plalaly oa each and every separate sketch. The accompanylag joke or descriptive letter-press should In every lastance be written upon its Individual picture, aad NOT upon a separate slip of paper. 1a- closure of stamps to the full amount of postage Is also required, to Insure sate and prompt return of material not accepted. ETWEEN the short-haired contingent of Tammany and the long- haired contingent of Anarchy, the country seems to be having a pretty lively two-ring circus on its hands. AN Y MOB that means business, and is out to make it- self felt, would simply strike terror to the heart of any anarchist by simply arming itself with nothing but bath- bricks and soap-stone. BS) IAL LAW is in force to pre- vent the taking of un- dersized lobsters. The imperious pachyderm now at the head of Tammany should make a note of this, and, if he has the good of his organization at heart, see that a law is made against the taking of any more undersized political lobsters into its ranks o. AETERLINCK would not be so wildly enthusiastic over the queen bee and her wonderful and varied performances, as he is in his latest book, if he had ever been in New Jersey long enough to be formally presented and dedi- cated to the Czar mosquito of unique method and métier, to say nothing of the electric-tipped ice-tong prow, ARTIFICIAL OYSTERS are the latest. The prescription from which they are compounded 1s not known, nor does any one care, so long as they are palatable and may be eaten during each and every moon with- out reference to the R's" they may or may not contain. They may come in shells of papier-macue or celluloid, but that will make no difference, so. long as they are free from typhoid germs. An anti-typhoid guarantee should also be blown into cach shell. It is to be hoped that in’ every given number the purveyors may be sufficiently enterprising to put a fine smoked pearl, not so much as a guaranty of good faith as to make the ap- Preciative epicure doubly happy. | From Scagticoke to Saccarap The roasted chestnut is on tap, And when we hear it plunk and pop We know that we are right on top. AN EXPLANATION ie Tite FOAL (seeing automobile for first time)—* Oh, mamma! quick, quick! See the invisible horse!" _‘NMmite,” thrown by a THE DIAMOND IS DIMMED. 'HE BASEBALL SEASON is about at an end, the bat is as good as hanging on the willow, and the stars of the diamond have retired for their regular period of hibernation. The umpire has spread the drapery of his arnica and iodoform about him and dissolved from the festive scene. Our local pride is hurt by the result of the pennant race, and yet we can- not refrain from dreaming what a great thing it would be for the Giants if the first could be last and last first. The pensive pop of the peanut is no longer heard on the bleachers, the spicy aroma of the Pasteurized sausage strays with the zephyr of yesterday, and all is as dismal as a trol- ley bell... ANENT THE ANARCHIST. ANY ARE THE SUGGESTIONS as regards the best way to dis- pose of the anarchist, who, according to his own wail, is more worked against than working. A lawyer in the South thinks it would be well to imprison him for a year and fine him a thousand dollars, upon proof of his anarchistic tendencies. This suggestion is quite as amusing as inconsist- ent when it is considered that, as the anarchist does not believe it right and proper that any man should roll and revel in the red, red shekels of the realm when another does not, it would be quite impossible for him to discharge the aforesaid obligation as much as he would rejoice in making the court financially happy. Perhaps it would be a harsher one to assume that if he had a thousand dollars he would not be an anarchist —at least, not until the last cent of his drinking capital had faded away like the dainty June rose against the furnace of his perennial and progress- ive thirst. It has been suggested that the hose be played upon him and his co-fiends in open meeting, with a view to stopping the incendiary amenities of the same. This suggestion, which at first seems to have san- itary merit, is not, after all, practical, as this form of water-cure would vir- : tually kill those that it would heal. Otherwise it would be well to have the fire-engines put these meetings out, inasmuch as the sub- jects would have either to disband or put ma- rine-insurance policies on their lives, which latter would be quite against their principles. Another plan that might work well would be to punish and at the same time improve him physically and mentally. This might be accomplished by dividing his days of imprisonment into two equal parts, In the morning he could be placed against a wall, with a fair amount of dodging-room, and for three or four hours have to duck and side- step, or be hit by balls of soap marked “dy- professional — short- The anarchist would of course exert every effort to dodge these missiles, inasmuch as he would fondly realize that, while they were marked “dynamite,” that they were soap, which would, from his point of view, be much worse than a dose of his own medicine, compounded for mere millionaires, In the afternoon it would be well to make him write soap testimonials. It may strike thinking people as absurd that a soap testimonial should have any value when emanating from one that eschews and abhors soap because of an inherent reverence for the tradition of his kind. But an opposite view of the question would be held if the authorities should compel the writer of the testimonials to take a bath and give the soap a practical test as a stimulus for a truthful literary effort. ‘The soap would be rough on the anarchist, and the anarchist would be rough on the soap; but it would be a good thing all round. The State would receive more than the literary union rates for the anarchist's articles ; the anarchist would be benefited, and might no longer maintain his anciznt dictum that uncleanliness is next to ungodliness; and the soap-manu- facturer would wear a fancy vest made of thousand-dollar bills and but- toned with Koohinoors—for the soap that would cleanse an anarchist would certainly wash the spots off a Berkshire pig or a Tammany con- science, and therefore lather its way to the public heart. stop. comicbooks.com