Judge, 1901-05-11 · page 8 of 20
Judge — May 11, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humor pieces typical of early-20th-century satirical magazines: **"A Labor Saver"** features a running joke about Mr. Jones demonstrating whiskey bottles to an agent—the humor lies in Jones repeatedly raising and lowering his feet to avoid the agent's sales pitch, suggesting the product is so undesirable it's physically repellent. **"Reflections of a Spinster"** is a column mocking marriage attitudes, suggesting women over 25 fear matrimony, husbands abandon romance for independence, and that a wealthy villain inspires more devotion than a virtuous poor man—satirizing both women's limited options and men's actual behavior. The remaining pieces are brief comic vignettes: musicians comparing Wagner and Liszt while confusing concert rankings with baseball statistics; a pseudo-poetic exchange comparing wind and cat noises; Christian Science being dismissed as a passing fad; and a final joke about distinguishing Cupid from something else (unclear from image). The humor targets contemporary attitudes about marriage, gender roles, entertainment, and religion through exaggeration and absurdist logic.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A LABOR REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. HE marriage of a twenty-five-year- old daughter lifts a tre- mendous load from her mother’s mind. At twenty a man will choose the woman he loves to an inde- peridence; at thirty he chooses the independ- ence, After twenty-five some sensible girls hate to take the desperate step of matrimony. They had rather be bored than tortured. A. girl who has waited a long time for a worthy husband is sure to wonder, when he does appear, wheth- er he really deserves her. Many women make good, amiable wives; but it takes a uniformly kind and, above all, candid hus- band to m: a handsome villain well, give him a fat purse, and he will inspire more love and confidence in the heart of the average woman than an angel in home- Spun. van acwew, KEPT BUSY. BASE-HIT PERCENTAGE, welt —"| Miss Musycx—" Do you think Wagner leads Liszt?" Saggles—"\ sup- Mr. Pirtsuurc—"I'm positive. I was reading recently the pose even that great National League batting averages, and Wagner leads the list.” pianist finds it neces« sary to practice constantly in order to retain his hold on the public.” Waggles—*1 should say he does. Why, he’s obliged to work four hours every day on his hair to train it to stand up like the quills on a porcupine.” THE WIND AND THE CAT. (Mr. Jones impatiently raises his right foot.) ——‘tam WHENEVER I hear the tomcat Whenever I hear the night-wind giving away sample bottles of our new brand of whiskey.” hriek loud on the fence care free Moan round my cot by the sea T think of the moaning night-wind I think of the moonlit tomcat Round my cot beside the sea, That shrieks on my fence care free. Bo, MUNKITTIICK. UNDOUBTEDLY. ssQQUIVERFUL moves into his new house next week,” said Gazzam to Ten- spot. “With all those eleven children?” Phen I suppose he won't have a er house swarmin; DOOMED TO EXTINCTION. Jaggles—" Do you think Christian Science is more than a passing fad?" Waggles—' No. From the wi the members are treated when they're sick it looks as if they would Raspit—" Heavens! I'd give an onion to know whether that is Mr. Jones quickly puts up his left foot. soon die out.” Cupid or not.” comicbooks.com