Judge, 1901-05-11 · page 7 of 20
Judge — May 11, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **"The Art of Conversation"** is a children's story mocking rigid social etiquette. Aunt Lucinda represents Victorian-era propriety—she refuses to engage with children who sit silently, rudely dismissing them. The irony: when the children finally attempt conversation by mentioning their neighbor's farm animals, she becomes delighted. The satire targets adults' unreasonable expectations of children and the artificiality of "proper" conversation. **The farm dialogue** jokes about sending a poorly-behaved son to college, where he immediately joins the rowing team—suggesting colleges admitted troublemakers or that athletics was frivolous. **"A Confession"** is a brief poem about foolish romantic behavior, likely commenting on male vanity in courtship. **"In America"** mocks an English gentleman's confusion at American customs, specifically Pan-American exhibitions, suggesting cultural bewilderment at American spectacle. The page exemplifies Judge's target audience: educated, urbane readers amused by social commentary and gentle mockery of American life, class pretension, and generational differences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ART OF CONVERSATION. NE day Bobby, Trot and Dot went to call on Aunt Lucinda, Now, Aunt Lucinda dearly loved her litle niece and nephews, but, being a grown-up lady, she did not always succeed in making them: feel at their ease. Bobby -was six was five, and Dot was three years old, and they sat in a row, looking at their aunt and shuffling their feet about in an em- barrassed silence. Finally Aunt Lucinda said: “Well, children, you may as well go home again, Tell your mother I don’t care for visitors who don’t know how to Speake Shen yourall Heam tossalkjyon HE RAN THE CORN SHELLER AT HOME. can come to visit me; but I don't care to , | ; 4 : @ : : Farner Wutrrterrre— So young Rube Shortacre has gone tew college? He allers wus a bad egg, that have you come and sit there like bumps feller.” on a log without saying a word.” FARMER SNAKEROOT—"' Jesso! In fact, I heerd they put him into the ’varsity ‘shell’ right arter he got there.” were turned toward him, expecting him to do his part as nobly as his brother and sister had done theirs. But, big boy of six though he was, he burst into tears and said :_ “Tcan’t help it, auntie, It isn’t my fault if Mr. Smith hasn't got any other animals, Then Aunt Lucinda comforted her weeping nephew and her other guests with cakes and glasses of milk all round, but they went home. fully resolved never to go to that aunt's again, CAROLYN wats A CONFESSION. WHAT 4 fool a man in love can be! Even I have been one of those. He has even been known— As in case like my own— To have gone so far as propose. om IN AMERICA. ENGLISH GROOM (ignorant of the customs of the country)—" Hm! Bi Jove! what kind of a show is this?” His YaNker priDE—'* It looks like a Pan-American exhibition.” The children felt very sorry to hear this, for they had hoped their aunt would offer them some cake or candy, as she had sometimes done when they came with their mother. . This was the first time they had ever come alone. They tried, each of them, to think of something to say. but their baby minds seemed ab- solutely blank. At last, with a visibly determined ef- fort to make conversation or die in the attempt, Dotty, the youngest baby, screwed up her mouth and said slowly : “ Mister Smif has dot baby shickens.”* “Oh, has he?" said Aunt Lucinda, delighted to meet the little pioneer half way. “That is very nice. I'm sure you all enjoy looking at them through the fence.” But Dot could think of no further re- mark to make, and, too, she felt she had done her share. Silence fell again; but, unwilling to be outdone by a girl, Trot blurted forth: “ Mister Smif has some baby ducks.” “ Lovel exclaimed Aunt Lucinda. “Why, you children must have gay times oy COUNT EN Ak watching the little ducks learn to swim.” ITS OPEN COUNTENANCE SAVED IT. aN: 7orsvaURVSLLAND. Ths was al gh se’ ie bar gow, The foolish racquet, having lost three games of i z ‘ tennis in succession, shoots itself right between the Goup-nxick—"* Oh, gosh! I've bought another farmer.” was Bobby's turn. Three pairs of eyes eyes, but fortunately no harm is done.