Judge, 1900-09-29 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 29, 1900 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Five O'Clock Tea" - Judge Magazine Satire This page satirizes the Victorian social practice of calling hours and the absurdity of rigid social etiquette. The central joke involves a man repeatedly claiming "I was found dead in my bed at six o'clock this morning" as an excuse to leave various social gatherings—yet he keeps appearing at more events. The humor mocks: 1. **Hypocritical excuses**: Characters use transparent lies to escape tedious social obligations 2. **Social climbing**: People like Mrs. Fatheringay desperately want to associate with Mr. Ayres despite his questionable behavior 3. **Rigid formality**: The elaborate courtesy masks people's actual indifference or annoyance The surrounding illustrations (the rabbit, children at the swimming hole, domestic scenes) provide lighter comedic relief contrasting with the artificial tea-time conversation above.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
if}! VENEZA O6ZAS whe eon ver x, FIVE-O’CLOCK AT THE SWIMMING-HOLE. Mrs. TEA. Honnirrep srixsten (on teay to church) —" Little boys! Little boys!! What's going on here 7 —“How do you Kerwk the Bov—"' Nothin’, mum. Everything 's comin’ off hp Wekcek victim, led by his = this a he tetas | “1 was found dead The hostess — . : . in my bed at six So glad to see ‘ . o'clock this morn- Fiat aia I Mrs. Martin Thevictin—"1 < e q me eats peor was found dead in : ' ! er UP; my bed at six o'clock 5 : ‘ 4 there's Mr. Burton this morning.” f . 1 to keep you in The hostess — j countenance.’ “So sweet of you to j % ‘ Burton— come! Our friends ; 5 . EE F “Hello, old man! are so good. Oh, mY Come and weep Mrs. Golightly, so * : sat Z ’ we 2 glad to see you! AHR if CA fevictim—"1 Charming day, isn't : oa : : a . was found dead in vo : \ pe my bed at six o'clock The hostess's — : = this morning.”* friend (receiving) . : : . Burton — —"So pleased to ra} $ “ Wha-at ?” see you! How e The victim—1 sweet of you to |” was found dead in bring Mrs. Ayres !” my bedat sixo'clock The victim — NOT IN HIS) CASE. this morning. : Tue ranpit— Great hare-soup! They talk about there being luck in a rabbit's foot. I confess I don't see it.” sutinued on page “Twas found dead P 7 ing (Continued on page ¢) in my bed at six o'clock this morning.” Martin The friend —" It's very kind of you to say so. 1 always tell her the same thing, but she will be pleased to hear it from you.” Mrs. Jones —“ Ob, how d'ye do, Mr. Ayres? I haven't seen you people for ages!” The victim —" 1 was found dead in my bed at six o'clock this morning.” Mrs. Jones—* So Mr. Jones always says. Well, do bring Mrs. Ayres to see us some evening soon.” Mrs. Fotheringay —Oh, Mr. Ayres, how brave you are to venture among so many women !" The victim —" 1 was found dead in my bed at six o'clock this morning.” Mrs. Fotheringay —" That's the excuse Mr. Fotheringay always makes. I shall tell him how good you are to Mrs. Ayres, and per- haps he'll be a little bit ashamed, though I doubt it.” Mrs, Willis —“ How delightful to meet a man at one of these things !” The victim —" | was found dead in my bed at six o'clock this morning.” ES C : Mrs, Willis —" But you always were a ATTRACTIVE SPEAKER. philanthropist. I wish Mr. Willis were as HOW IT WOULD PAIN HIM. Mr. Magnet makes.a good campaign orator, : Fatuer—" This will pain me more than you !” inasmuch as he has the power of drawing a fond of society as you are. Do come and see Son—"'Sure! You're a big fat slob and all out of crowd, us, you and Mrs. Ayres. condition, and hate to work any way.” comicbooks.com