Judge, 1900-07-14 · page 12 of 20
Judge — July 14, 1900 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains mostly **advertisements and humor pieces**, not a unified political cartoon. The main satirical content is **"Depew's Poetry,"** a mock-heroic verse about **Chauncey Depew**, a prominent railroad executive and politician. The joke equates Depew's poetic abilities with railroad engineering—he "writes by railway rules," substitutes toes for feet when rhymes fail, and "couples a caboose" to his "flying train of thought." The satire mocks Depew's pretensions to literary skill while playing on his identity as a railroad man. The repeated railroad metaphors suggest his verse is mechanical and poorly constructed. A secondary joke predicts President McKinley will be the first three-term president—historically significant since this violates the two-term tradition not yet legally binding in 1900. The page is otherwise filled with product advertisements (brandy, tobacco, patent medicines, rail tickets) typical of Judge magazine's revenue model.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
., “A Geauine Old Brandy made from Wise.” | —Medicat Press London) Aug. 1859. MARTELL’S - THREE STAR BRANDY AT ALL BARS and RESTAURANTS. Original epsin Cures Indigestion and Satine All Others Are Imitations. i 0-0-0-2eeee! ‘A prolix and pompous Missouri lawyer, de- fending an ebony negro, was selecting a jury of white men. He had asked numberless need- less questions, when the judge said, now, Mr. C——; you will be examining the jorors’ teeth next. Hurry along—let’s get through with this nonsense." “Well,” said the lawyer, ‘just one more general question Are any of you in any way related to the de- fendant at the bar?"—Case and Comment, Low Rates West CHICAGO & NORTH-WESTERN RAILWAY ON July 9th, 17th, and August Ist the following rates will be made from Chicago for round trip, tickets good returning until Octo er Bist: Denver and return + + $31.50 Colorado Springs and return 31.50 Pueblo and return - ringsand. return Salt Lake chy Gnd return - Ogdenand return - - Deadwood, S.D., and return Hot Springs, S.. Particulars of any agent, or call at 4s roadeay, «te Yat 48 Ve Bt « FOR MEN. My little book, “Three Classes of Men,” sent free in plain, sealed envelope upon Fequest, It embodies the truths I have learned from my 30 years’ experience as a specialist. It tells all about my famous DR. SANDEN ELECTRIC BELT, with electric suspensory, the great home self-treatment for weak men, This Belt is worn at ight. curing while you sleep ail results of Youthful Errors, Lack of Vigor, Manly Strength, etc. Over 7,000 gave testimony in 1800. Answer ail letters personally, or Belt may be examined | Then ** go ahead" DEPEW’S POETRY. Our Chauncey took his pen in hand and scrib- bled off some verse, ‘And every poet in the land said, **I could do no worse. For Chauncey wrote by railway rules, and when a rhyme he'd lack Held takes lot of section-tools and lay another track. He spiked four lines in manner neat, No troubles could oppose Our Chauncey; for when shy on feet he made it up on toes. His language always touched the spot. The rhythm might be loose, But to his flying train of thought he coupled a caboose. He wrote the verse, he said, for fun, not for the sake of rhyme ; And when he pulled in on his run he was on schedule time. Here's hoping that no one will throw the lever of the switch, Else Chauncey’s train of thought may go a-| ‘smashing in the ditch. He'll stop at the Pierian spring and quaff its nectar mild is bell will ring, his orders be ‘run wild”; And when he writes ‘a thrilling ode, or at a sonnet cracks, The signals up and down the road will all read, “Clear the tracks.” Josh Wink in’ Baltimore American. HARDLY POSSIBLE, Boston, June 18th, 1900. Editor Jupce—I am a’ very simple person - |and don’t know much. I desire to predict that President McKinley will be the first president who will be elected three times in succession. Yours truly, W. A.C. Willis—" Did they make many hits in the Lampoon-Crimson base-ball game?" Hillis— “Rather. They hit the keg an average of every thirty seconds."—Harvard Lampoon. Jones, who has accidentally sat on his wife’s new hat, warbles, “« I am sitting on the style, Mary.” OF NORTH CAROLINA PLUG CUT is a mild, cool, mellow and satisfying tobacco of the highest quality and is the most popular and largest selling brand of ‘plug cut”’ smoking tobacco in the world! The reason for this is that the leaf that ‘‘Seal’’ is made of is cured in its own native climate—in the sunshine and balmy atmosphere of the southern states, where pipe tobacco originated. A full size trial pouch will be sent by return mail on receipt of 10 cents in postage stamps by The American Tobacco Co., ut Fifth Avenue, New York, N. Y. Leslie’s Weekly For ONE DOLLAR. It is the purpose of LESLIE'S WEEKLY throughout the Presidential campaign to faithfully and impartially illustrate the lead- ing campaign events, dealing justly with all the political parties, their candidates and leaders. In this matter, as in all others, LESLIE’S WEEKLY will be absolutely fair to both sides. The exciting days of the campaign are upon us. Every American citizen is interested in the contest, which promises to be sharp, close and interesting. Ilustrations will alone fairly portray the sparkle, the life, and the acrimony of the great contest for the control of the national administration. So that all may have an opportunity to enjoy the quadrennial excite- ment of the American people, we offer to send LESLIE'S WEEKLY during the campaign period of four months for one dollar. This is a special offer, which the public will appreciate. Remit by Cheque or Postal Order. Address LESLIE'S WEEKLY, 0 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. —Punch, Millions are sold each Dos, ot Wrualiy caves, rateed io ures or poretgeg mane? ROMEIKE'S Fe Forth Gouans Persea Ure TTT conastsd ee Cok with teal, Look for Arrow office. Da Tic B. SANDEN, £26 Broadway, New York, N.Y. ‘A fact proved by thelr enormous sales. Head on Every aires Fou Jout tend of e8y ssceh ou ? ou wast ie be JACOB STAHL, JR. & CO., Makers, 168th St. and 3rd Ave., N.Y. City. Giger. aay vat science rene Wala asa BRARY {8 fall of pure fun. No polities. 10c. comicbooks.com