Judge, 1900-03-03 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 3, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page celebrates George Washington's legendary honesty, particularly the apocryphal cherry-tree story ("never told a lie"), contrasting his virtue with modern society's casual dishonesty. The poem mocks contemporary conveniences (telephones, automobiles, trolleys) as enabling lies, suggesting that Washington's era of simplicity fostered moral integrity while modernity breeds corruption. The satirical sketches beneath mock petty domestic dishonesty: one couple exchanges a mittens/shoes mix-up with feigned confusion; another has a woman jealously respond to her husband's boast of matching Washington's bravery; a third shows socialites admitting they've bunched together unknown ancestors after decorators mixed up family portraits—all comic examples of everyday deception. The satire's point: American society contradicts Washington's example by normalizing lies in trivial matters, suggesting national moral decline since the founding era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GEORGE WASHINGTON. His truthful soul is marching on. URRAI for George —great George, our king! We chant his praises high. He fought the fight of good aright And never told a lie. "Tis said sometimes he blurted out A sulphurous oath or two, And often bold, great stories told, But not a thing untrue. : Conveniences of modern days Were all to him unknown ; He would not try to tell a lie, Nor could he telephone. No murderous trolleys troubled him, No Waldorf salad cloyed ; No automobile caused him woe, No telegraph annoyed. Perhaps if these inventions great Had been to him supplied ‘Twould had direct the same effect— Like us he would have lied. Some modern folks don't hesitate To lie as well as pray; And often then they lie again— George was not built that way. “Tis best that we achieve for truth Great notoriety, ‘Than take first prize for all the lies Told in society. Great soldier, patriot, lieless man! ‘We laud and honor thee. ‘Thy victories won were all outdone By thy veracity. . oe JON H, KINGSBURY. Tum, mexstarp—"* Come in ! JUST AS COURAGEOUS. aastettee 40 HAT a brave man George Washington was!" exclaimed Mrs. Bainbridge with patr- A HAND LIKE A FOOT, otic admiration. Mr. Monx—"'I've brought you a pair of shoes, my “I don’t know that he was any braver than I,” retorted Mr. Bainbridge; “for I, too dear.” idow.” Mrs. Moxx—" Why, these are mittens!" marred 29" Mn. Mone" Ob, what's the difference ?* Then Mrs, Bainbridge looked sharp daggers at her husband. A POOL. Mas. WaLLporr— Which of these ancestors are yours and which are your husband's?” Mrs. Justinx—'* Oh, it's a funny thing about them ancestors. ; The decorators got ‘em mixed while fixing the gallery, and we couldn't tell t'other from which ; so we bunched the whole lot and called ‘em our ancestors.” comicbooks.com