Judge, 1900-03-03 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 3, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century humor: **"Vicissitudes of the Pendrivers"** mocks struggling writers ("pen drivers") whose livelihood depends on constant output. The joke: a writer's family celebrates his unproductiveness, hoping he's working on something valuable rather than producing saleable work. **"The Time for Action"** satirizes Russian imperialist ambitions. A Russian statesman proposes aggressive expansion into Constantinople, China, India, and Austria while offering France the "Isle of Man"—a trivial consolation prize. The French statesman's concern about England and America is dismissed. This appears to reference late 19th-century European power politics and colonial rivalries. **"A Slight Mistake"** presents a simple visual joke about a parrot and snake. **"How Tommy Scared the New Coon"** (bottom)—a six-panel sequence depicting a child's interaction with what the title suggests is a raccoon (or uses period-appropriate but now offensive terminology). The narrative arc shows the child's escalating actions. The page reflects typical Judge content: literary satire, international politics commentary, and domestic humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
VICISSITUDES OF THE PENDRIVERS. H, MOTHER, mother! what shall we do?” sobbed the haggard but still beautiful maiden, tearing meanwhile her flaxen locks. “It's past lunch-time, there's nothing to eat in the house, and pa hasn’t written a line to-day." A look of horror overcast the wan but comely features of Mrs. Pendriver. “ What !” she exclaimed, “two o'clock, and not a poem, not a prose-pastel, not even an ad., done? Why, I thought I heard his pen traveling briskly over paper as early as five a. m., and that was why I turned over and went to sleep again.” - “Know, then, mother, there's not a thing salable on the desk, and he is still sound asleep.” An expression of wistful joy stole softly over Mrs. Pendriver's face. “Stay, my child, stay! We will not waken him. Perhaps he’s at work on a dream-book.” AN ASSURANCE, Voice. ( from within)—"* Who is it?” Hans Wursts—"'Gretchen, I am nobody else. Lock der door open.” THE TIME FOR ACTION. . sYES." said the Russian statesman, “the hour for our ascendency is at hand. Both France and Russia should act at once. Russia should seize Constantinople, China, India and Austria, and you French might seize—ahem !—might seize*'y iste of Man. Anglo-Saxon power is av ain end “But,” said the Frenck statesman, “ what about England and America?" MauicaD ere “Oh, that’s all right. England ‘s got that ‘THe rARROT—"* What have you been doing—swallowing a walking-stick?” South African trouble on her hands and the United Tue sNAKE—“ No, Ina fit of absent-mindedness I mistook myself for an umbrella-cover.” States Ms her Kentucky governorship contest.” HOW TOMMY SCARED THE NEW COON. : comicbooks.com