Judge, 1900-01-20 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 20, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"An After-Thought"** mocks a child's seasonal disappointment—wanting to swim in winter, unable to wear a bathing suit in freezing weather. Gentle, relatable humor. **"The Way of It"** satirizes poverty: a schoolteacher asks a poor girl to wear clean clothes; the girl reveals her dress is permanently sewn on for winter. The joke highlights class disparities and the indignity of poverty. **"A Moral Axiom"** mocks wealthy assumptions about inherited privilege—that inherited money matters more than earning it. **"The Parson Who Milked His Cow"** satirizes pretension: a wealthy woman is shocked to find a clergyman doing manual labor, revealing class-based assumptions about clergy status. **"Nothing Else Needed"** is dark humor: a woman claims her marriage caused her divorce—implying marriage itself is the problem. The page reflects Edwardian-era satire targeting class consciousness, gender roles, and social hypocrisy through domestic and comedic scenarios.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN AFTER-THOUGHT. BY LITTLE TOMMY. THE snowdrifts look like billows, The garden is a sea; The sparrow, like a petrel, Disports in wildest glee. I'd like to go a-wading And have a jolly dip, ‘And in the shining distance Observe the white-winged ship. But no; I can't go swimming And o'er the wild waves shoot Because it is too freezy To wear my bathing-suit. no MUNMETFRICK. THE WAY OF IT. Teacher (at mission-school)—" Mary, when you go home you must ask your mother to give you a clean frock to come to school in next time.” Mary (vastly surprised) —“.But she can't, ma’am. This is sewed on for the winter.” A MORAL AXIOM. Percy—** It isn’t what we earn that makes us rich, old fel.” Atcy—** That's deuced certain, deah boy, It’s what our ancestors save, bah Jove!" THE PARSON WHO MILK- ED HIS COW. COUNTRY pastor, whowas very bright and original in his remarks, attracted the notice of a wealthy lady who was spending the summer in the vi- cinity, One even- ing she called at the parsonage just as the old minister, clad in overalls, was coming in from the stable with a brim- ming pail of milk. “Why, Smith!" excla the lady, “do you milk a “Certainly, madam,” What would you have me Jaggles—" Does he believe in faith-cure ?’ Jes —" Well, he uses a hair-restor “If you will saw that wood I will give yo: al.” D Perfessional athletes dies you: NO WONDER. Tom—' Her infatuation was short-lived.” Was he a heartless brute?” * No; a penniless saint.” NOTHING ELSE NEEDED. Mrs, Newcomb—* What was the cause of your divorce, Norah?" Norah (vlandly)}— Me marriage, mum.” DANGEROUS EXERTION, T dassent attempt no extraordinary feats.” comicbooks.com