Judge — January 20, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOATING CHIPS. No truth was ever converted into a truism without its martyrs. No graven image ever worshiped has done so much harm as false ideals of duty. No one can forgive seven times who has not needed forgiveness seventy times seven. We say we have outgrown our illusions, but is not that the greatest one of all? The woman who has not learned to wear a smile over an aching heart has not at- tained her majority. We would stand more chance of be- <u ing happy if there were fewer people to insist on our being so in their way. Cynicism is called cheap, but those who have bought it in the mart of expe- rience have paid a dear enough price. MARGARET WENTWORTH. HOW HE SeQUTRED THE “ SWING.” O'LEaRy—"*Git ont’ th’ shtoile av McManus, me b'y!” “Sh! Th’ lad used t’ wor-rk on th’ van Coortlan’ golf-links.”” A WILL AND A WAY. *S(EORGE,” she cooed, “ why can't we get married next Sunday 2" * Well,” hesitatingly replied the recalcitrant but manly youth’at her side, “we could, I s'posé; but it may rain Sund: “George, if it rains Sunday couldn't we get married Saturday?” NOT LIKE OTHER MEN. JOB'S patience was miraculous, Itis by all conceded ; But although he was one of Uz, We could not do as he did. INCREASED TRADE. Thespis—* How could such a bad comedian get an engagement?” Foyer— A music-hall. propri- etor took him on for business rea- HIS DEGREE. sons. You see, he drove the audi- FARMER GREENE—"* So your son received:a degree at Harvard? What kind of a degree was it?” ence to drink.” Farmer BrowN—“' Oh, about zero, I guess. He's bin all-fired ‘ friz-up’ an’ ‘ cold-actin’ * ever since he got it.” HE FAILED TO CONNECT. “Yah, dis ees Juli __ who's. liar? Did Now look at) myself—a: us. Am I talking t0 der Jog said dot Lvasa liar? ——Now you tell me I am a ——How do you like dot, you * * * eded for assault und. pepper yust didett eaid you vas der Hold der vire a min- liar und 1 vill— AN for losing my temperature! J vish slaughter-house.— Ut— Taida't did te