Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ODD CHRISTMAS. ONCE upon a time there was a man, and the man had three children, and their names were Johnnie and Jennie, and the baby. And once upon a time these three children had a Christmas-tree. You know what a Christmas-tree is, don’t you, children? With all the pretty spangles and stars and popcorn-strings and presents on it— presents for papa and mamma and Jobnnie and Jennie and the baby —and by-and-by old Santa Claus comes down the chimney with papa’s big fur overcoat on, and funny white hair, like grandpa’s only it's ever and ever so much longer, and the funniest great, big. long. white whiskers, and tells who all the presents on the tree belong to. Well, by-and-by, sure enough, old Santa Claus did come ; and there were presents on the tree for papa and mamma and Johnnie and Jennie and the baby—presents for all of them, Everybody had some- thing: and the funniest thing, children, everybody was pleased with what he got ! Papa got a pair of slippers that mamma made for him; and what do you think, children? The funniest thing happened. Papa didn't say that this was his sixth pair of slip- pers, or that they were too ‘small for him, or that he wished it was cigars. No, children; papa thanked mamma very much in- deed, and said he was much obliged. Mamma got a new bonnet from papa; and it was just the same way then—so funny that you would hardly believe it, children, unless this was a Christmas story. Mamma said she was delighted, and she didn’t want a seal- skin sacque, because moths get into them ; and x she had more diamond rings than she knew what }, todo with, anyhow. That was just the way it hap- &* pened, children; that was just the way it was told to me, for of course it all happened many, many years ago—in some foreign country, I think. Johnnie got a pair of skates. You boys would rather have a bicycle, wouldn't you? Well, nobody had ever heard of a bicycle then, and Johnnie didn’t say that the Jones boy, next door, had got a better CHRISTMAS FUN. Cuorus (0f small mice)—'* Oh, mamma! this is our nicest present. 'G THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY. ** Th’ missis told me ter dress th’ turkey, an’ it’s foine yer goin’ ter look.” pair of skates than No, indeed, children, It was the oddest thing you ever heard of. Johnny said “ Thank you,” just as polite and nice; at least that was the way it was told to me. long after it happened, so many, many years ago. Jennie got a doll. Not one of these big wax ones that open and shut their eyes. No; it was just an ordinary doll, such as your grandmother used to have, children—the one that is up in the attic now, because none of you children cares to play. with it, But Jennie said “ Thank you,” too, and said it was ever so much nicer than the Jones girl had, and she guessed there weren't many little girls had such a nice dolly. And the baby, bless his heart, he just clapped his chubby hands and cried “ Da-da.” It was the queerest thing I ever heard of, children—this Christmas-tree where everybody was pleased with what he got. But this is just the way it was told to me that it happened many, many years ago, before you oF | was born. RELIABLE INFORMA- TION. SHO is this yere Santy WwW Claus I hear'n folks tellin’ ‘bout ?”° asked one little Cuban insurgent of another. "Go ‘long, you ole igno- ramus! Don't yer know nuthin’ ‘bout yer country's hist'ry? Why, he's the big Yankee gen‘rul w'ot took San- ty Ague !” CAUSE AND EFFECT. First small boy—" 1 know what I shall give Cousin Wall- flower for a Christmas-gift.” ‘Second small boy— . What?” First small boy—" A red, white and blue shirt-waist.” Second small boy— «What for?" First small boy —" So's the fellows will rally round the flag.” LESSED are the grateful ; for they are in a better Do wind it up again," world, comicbooks.com