Judge — October 28, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TWO POINTS THAT IS T OF VIEW. HOW. ‘ sYouR aspara- *sRICKETTS gus is quite has become dear,” said Mrs. a pensioner, you Fraley to the green- say? How did he grocer, manage to do that? “Yes'm; it's He wasn’t in the home - grown,” re- war.” plied the vegetable- “He did it by h i seller. ; buying a typewriter , ‘ “These cigars and learning to use ~ are very expensive, it. It has made him said Mr. Fraley to a pen-shunner.”” his tobacconist. Y . “They are made " 7 M . J in Havana,” was the HIS NARROW y (Cy pas i conclusive reply. ESCAPE. y VY 4 WHAT was an 4 J : F yy CAUSE FOR the sen- i i! VD CRITICISM. MA Dy - f g seTHE sewing- society pull- ed Mrs. Good all to pieces yesterday.” “Why, I did not supposeahere was a tence * Life imprison- men “My! but that’s tough.” “Yes; but if he hadn't had a good thing that could be lawyer they say he GREAT GOOD LUCK. said against her.” : Joxrs—"' They say Smith's three daughters all got engaged to foreign noblemen while at the ‘shore’ and "| TENE Na would have got ten that Smith is tickled to death about it.” sitsthere years more.” Brown—" Yes, He's just found out that they are all dry-goods clerks and self-supporting.” isn't.” FROM JUDGE’S DICTIONARY, THE ORIGIN OF A PHRASE, \CCIDENT—Something which happens without per- Fisherman (to friend) —" Verily, that whale looketh not well, nor acteth mission; as dish-breaking, yankee babies, and chil- “he so. What thinkst thou is the matter?” blains. Jonah (faintly, from inside)—" He's eaten something.” Fad—A practical proof of the truth of the Dar- winian theory. Gallows—An article of social furniture used in strangling criminals who have been unfortunate in their choice of lawyers. Danger—A condition to which females are often exposed by reason of their peculiar theories in regard to alighting from street-cars. Cage—A receptacle in which bank-cashiers are kept as a gentle reminder of that more onerous cap- tivity which awaits them in case they allow the de- lights of faro and the track to neutralize their reverence for t!e com- mandments. EDWARD CLAYTON SAVAGE. IN THE PARK WITH HIS DAUGHTER. “Well, my little man, what are you crying for?” Mr. FAMLYMANN—'* Young man, I am surprised to meet you here. I must My mo-m-mother licked me.” insist upon you and my daughter seeing less of each other.” “+ Well, it's too bad; but never mind. , f Lover—"' The very thing, sir. Iwas just about to suggest turning out “Yes; an’ that's just what she licked me for—'cause I never mind.” the electric lights, mysell.” comicbooks.com