Judge — October 28, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS DREAM. Mr. Murray Hitt.—' I dreamt of you last night.” Miss Buxwex Hint (coddiy)—"Ah, how good of you!" Mr. Murray Hit—" Yes; then I woke up and shut down the windows and put an extra blanket on the bed.” WTERNITIED, “Twas mentioned in the papers That he Sundayed at the shore ; He Mondayed in the city, Feeling weak and very sore; He Tuesdayed in his chamber, Swift his life-line severing ; And now beneath tite daisies He doth tie forevering. DAVIO W, TALMADGE. NO GILDED DENS. Strang er—" You say that your county is thorougt:- ly populistic—that it never polls any other vote in elec- tions?” Native Kansan—" Mis- ter, the population of this county is seven thousand five hundred, and it ain't had a hop in it fer six THE BEST SUBSTITUTE, Jack Lonsomehurst—\ am completely worn out from nightmare. His city friend—Try an automobile, old man; it isn’t half as tiring.” rae The base-ball_season is over, summer is gone, the yacht-race sailed, Dewey 's home, the war is over, and pol- ities are dead. ‘Therefore an artist, who shall r less, will try a comic drawing of himself trying to think— of something to draw. HAVE CONTRACTED CONTRACTION. ‘SWE CAN console ourselves,” said the Spanish statesman, “with the knowledge that we are free from many of the perplexities that annoy other nations.” “In what respect, I'd like to know?” high-born hidalgo. “Well, we are not troabled with the—the—ahem! —the expansion craze.” plied the A HANDY ACCOMPLISHMENT, [8 PLAYING cards bad tuck has he, Although the game he understands ; So now he’s studying palmistry That he may read his neighbors’ hands, HE KNEW A GREAT DEAL, Se NOW, George Gazzam,” said the teacher, * you may tell what you know of the social customs ancient Greeks and Romans.” Phe ancient Greeks and Romans,” replied young Mr. Gazzam in a loud and metallic tone of voice,“ were allowed to marry only one wife each, and this was called monotony.” A CONJECTURE. Rurert—'* How many quartz-mines does Stockson own?” Haxorv—" Eight, I guess, He seems in a peck of trouble over them.” comicbooks.com