Judge — August 5, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NO SATISFACTION FROM THE FEAST. through the woods, captured a ‘possum of plumpest propor- tions. ys Sam, “an’ im while we uns tek a res’.” "Lije agreed, and the fire was made and tended till a bed of glow- ing coals resulted. Over this the quar- ry was suspended on a stick, support- ed by two crotched limbs, in the primi- tive fashion that be- longs to wooderaft. Agreeing to take je curled up for a nap, while Sam superintended the unctuous proc- ess in most artistic style. As the roast- ing came to an end the smell, as Sam afterward stated apologetically, so daz- Toas Covoet Hexxrey— “See here, Jim! I hear you are terribly henpecked.” Jim Jostyx—" No, indeedy, kun’, Coronet Hesyexy—" L mean by your.wife.” Jim Jostys =" Oh, yais; dat Yor see, she insists on habin’ chicken at least on mad if it's de leas’ bit zled his nose that his moral sense was perverted, and he clipped a luscious bit from the crisp, brown object of his longing. Taste fol- lowed taste, and gradually the whole ‘possum found a home in the stom- ach of the appreciative cook; but before swallowing the last delicious morsel Sam thoroughly daubed wi its savory fat the mouth and chin of his confiding sleeping comrade; then. throwing himself beside hi fon the ground, Sam snored with such noisy vigor that “Lije sat up and rubbed his eyes, calling loudly, “Sam! oh, yo", Sam! wha’ yo’ done do wid dat ‘possum? Ain’ he done cooked yet?” Sam slowly took a perpendicu- lar position and looked fiercely at his neighbor. y je!" he exclaimed, “how yo’ dast ax me ‘bout dat ar “possum when yo" bin eatin’ dat roas’ beas’ yo'se'f while 1 took a lille res’? DINKER inte cite p 14 Ewrstl Wy Mrs, Wettment—" Here isa nickel to help you reform and be a better man. will you?" Barteren Butts—" Not a bit of it, lady. an’ de Cuban army. And you won't fight any more, Dat munificent disbursement makes me feel jes’ like General Gomez “Lneb’ see no roas’ “possum,” protested * “Well, den, jes’ tell me whar dat grease all roun’ yo'r mouf come Cum?" asked Sam sternly. “Lije’s tongue slowly explored all of his countenance that was within its reach, “ Sho’ ‘nuff,” he admitted, “dar's a mos’ delightsome taste ob roas’ fat roun’ my mouf; but, Sam, sho" ’s yo" lib I nebbah ‘fore, in my born days, et up a ‘possum an’ got so little satisfaction inside ob me.” H.C HUNGERFORD, ije. “ARMA VIRUMQUE.” SS RIEND Maud, I heard (but 1 your pardon beg) That your dear lover fell and broke his leg.” “Tt might be worse,” said Maud, with blush to charm, ** Suppose that he had broken —say—his arm?” THE PREVAILING PROPENSITY. Telegraph-operator—" The message mustn't exceed ten words.” Fair sender—*1 can add a postscript, can't 12” Uhain’t bin neah a chicken in a month.” A REFORMER. Mrs Corncrinnrk—"'I reckon our Hennery has joined the law-and-order league at Yale.” Mx Corncrinner—' Why do you think that?” Mars Corncrinuer—"* Why, he writes that he's helped to break up four shows at the opera-house this week. Them theatres is very pernicious things, you know. comicbooks.com