Judge — July 22, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ORSE AND HORSE. The washing- machine agent had just successfully gotten out of his systema yarn about a penurious person who, when a bar- bers’ war in the vil- lage wherein he re- sided had reduced the price of - hair cuts to five cents each, immediately took advantage thereof; and then, feeling in his avaricious soul that he was daily losing hard-earned wealth by not being able, owing to the procrastination of nature and the dilatory growth of his hair, to avail himself of the great but transitory snap by having his hair cut often, sought the aid of a hai ‘orator of such potency that he was able to indulge in a five-cent hair-cut twice a week, But, alas! while he was re- joicing at the greatness of his head and the keenness of his acumen, a change came over him. He grew pale and thin, and thinner by degrees, till at last he TOUGH CUSTOMERS. was reduced to skin ang bones, and finally faded First mosqutro—"* Those people from the city are pretty tough—don't you think so?” SECOND MosQuE Tough? Look at my bill !* waxed fat on the sawdust. which was to them indeed fine board. In due season Mr. Partlow reaped the fruits of his chi- canery. One hen set—or sat, as the case may have been—-on a dozen eggs, and presently hatched eleven chickens wooden legs and every symptom of being utter blockheads, and one lusty, red-head- ed woodpecker. “Well —er—um!" commented the agent. “That's a pretty good story; but is it—ah—true? “ Jest as true as the one you told me a spell ago, Mr. Hooks,” replied the host ; “every bit as truc.” Tou r soscam. A PROPER REASON, HEN I write verses to my love Tsing of her as Gwendolyn ; She tikes that name all names above, And so I deem it not a sin. And when to flout my friends begin That such romantic name I claim STAVING HIM OFF, I say I call her Gwendolyn Majox Gooprriter—" Have you heard of the latest whisky trust 7” Simply because it is her name. Liax-reNveR—"" Stop, major, stop! The slate is broke.” GEORGE SiNDsevE. vay and died, the victim of his own ra- the hair-invigorator having sapped lity and exhausted his strength in supplying nourishment to the many suc- cessive crops of hair with which it had remarked the landlord of the Pettyville tavern when the recital was done, “That kinder reminds me of the case of a red-headed man by the name of Anson D, Partlow, who “—— According to the landlord's testimony Mr Partlow was of a saving turn of mind, and tried feeding his hens with a mixture of equal parts of corn-meal and basswood sawdust, This base swindle so thoroughly deceived the trusting fowls that they did not detect the imposition; thereupon the astute and unscrupulous Partlow gradu- ally decreased the portion of meal and increased the quantity of sawdust, till at length the mixture had ceased to be a mixture and was naught but sawdust, pure and undefiled. NOLSVPANTWAY. Still the purblind and credulous fowls : 2 s LERK—"* Want a quiet room?” detected not the fraud, but flourished and “Oh, it doesn't make much difference—I've got my wife with me.” comicbooks.com