Judge, 1899-05-06 · page 6 of 17
Judge — May 6, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains three satirical pieces: 1. **"Ode to the Blacksmith"**: A humorous poem romanticizing the working blacksmith while acknowledging his actual vices—the "ode" ironically celebrates his drinking habits (whiskey, beer, tobacco, apple-jack) as "vanquishing human woes," mocking both sentimental working-class worship and workers' substance abuse. 2. **"His Awful Predicament"**: A brief joke about an Irishman (suggested by dialect spelling "sor-r," "joost," "gir-rls") learning his wife has just given birth to twins and two girls—he's dismayed at the number of dependents, playing on stereotypes about Irish Catholics and large families. 3. **"An Impossibility"**: A Civil War reference where a wounded Kentucky soldier declares he'll "never take water"—meaning he refuses surrender—but the joke is this defiant phrase is also literally about refusing water (a temperance angle). The page emphasizes period obsessions: class stereotypes, Irish immigrant caricatures, temperance debates, and Civil War references. The large illustration on the right appears unrelated decorative content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ODE TO THE BLACKSMITH. SING ho! for the merry blacksmith man, Sing ho! for the bright and shining can Of pure spring-water, cold and clear, Better far than the deadly beer, As a chaser brisk For the flask of ** whisk” ‘That stands his elbow near, Sing ho! for the merry anvil's ring, For the bellows’ rhythmic puff and swing. His hands are soiled, he wears old clothes ; But his eye is bright, for well he knows How plug ‘* toback ” And apple-jack Will vanquish human ‘woes. Sing ho! for the sparks that upward fly, For the glowing charcoal’s beaming eye, For the rugged breast that is ne’er unmanned, For the gentle heart and the iron hand, When the evening star Shines soft afar, Why, then he'll rush the can, HIS AWFUL PREDICAMENT. i Poppington (greatly agitated)—"Am nother 2” Both, sor-r; Mrs. Poppington has joost presinted yez wi ays an’ two gir-rls,” Young Popp: Scott! Quadrupeds !” AN IMPOSSIBILITY, Fitirino cuier—** Surrender, there! I'll make ried the wounded soldier, who was a Kentuckian, ** I'll never take water.” WELL PRESERVED. ** How well Mrs. Fourinhand keeps her age !" es; doesn't look a day younger than she did ten years ago.” ON WASHINGTON STREET. New York boy (in Boston)—“ Pa, isn’t there a lot of people on the street! What are they doing ?" New York parent—“ Hush, Bobby! they're trying to find their way out.”” comicbooks.com