Judge — February 4, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FREAK OF NATURE. EWARE of that extremely generous person who bestows : upon you with sweet, unconscious liberality whatever -EAT. DRINK you may innocently chance to admire. She will give ial BE: -MERRY:, you her finger-rings and brooches, her shirt-waists and cuff-buttons, her silk stockings and finest mouchoirs. Her string of old amber beads from way back on her mother-in-law’s side will be found around baby’s neck, and her silver bon-bon box will afford him untold de- light until it is emptied and thrown away as no longer valuable. But some day—perhaps when she moves into her new house—she will ask if you care particularly about your new five-hundred-dollar piano. She will take your kitchen-cabinet and sewing-table, and ask for your book-case to keep her fine china in. She will borrow your souvenir spoons and consider possession nine-tenths of the law. She will adopt your hat-rack and offer you a nominal price for THE TABLE SET FOR IT. your parlor-carpet. which she considers much more suited to their cir- Do the boarders know what they are going to get for dinner? Certainly—steak? cumstances than to yours. If you cannot see your way clear to making the slight changes of owner- ship in the articles which she desires she will not be * offended at any refusal unless it is final. She will be particularly tenacious about the piano, and if you really wish to keep the instrument under your own roof you will have to tell her it is mortgaged. GUARANTEED. SHE takes each patent medicine, Though only troubled with the vapors, And then a testimonial sends ; And here's where her ambition ends— To see her picture in the papers. SPOILING A FULL HOUSE, levada Ned— Yes, sit; I've participated in a few little three- or four-handed games where every feller would git four aces.” Tourist—" You'd wait and draw again, | sup- ” Nevada Ned — Mister, we don't do much waitin’, but we draw about as quick as we kin use our hands. See this hole through my ear? I was a little slow that time.” STRATEGY. Mas. Osrrict—"“ Goodness gracious! how mischievous children are! That's the only corkscrew + *] BELIEVE in the house, and there’s Birdie raliowiag it.” Breathby to be an*honest man. There's nothing assumed about him. Do you know of anything to the contrary?” “Yes. Once when’ he awoke and discovered a burglar in the room he put on a false snore.” THE RULING PASSION. INE o'clock, is it?” said the grocer as he:looked at his watch and prepared to close the store. “ How short the days are getting!” “Short!” exclaimed the oldest inhabitant as he 1, A-woman going aftera doc- clutched his cane tighter and began to move toward tor fot her sick husband. the door. “I've lived here at the corners all my life, and to my absolute knowledge these are the shortest days we've had fer fifty years.” MODERN CHIVALRY Mrs. Dorcas—"|s it fair that a woman is not allowed to occupy the white-house chair?” Dorcas— Tut, tut, my THE ICICLE SEASON. ts By ager bales iealakaice cv dvemmles oat spite erro eS eee te 5 me kitchen. The pidea ava man bein’ made fee in his own by keeping her out of a seat house !* in the electric chair.” 2. Same woman going after a doctor for her sick pet poodle. comicbooks.com