Judge, 1899-01-14 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 14, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **"The Auction at Fitch's"** mocks a woman (Min Stevens) who attempts to profit by consigning unwanted items to an auction, only to end up paying more in commissions than the items sell for—ultimately buying back her own couch at a loss. The satire targets vanity and failed schemes to appear thrifty. **"An Inappreciable Quantity"** jokes about a serial bridesmaid (Kate) who has been in seven weddings. The satire suggests she's unmarriageable herself, serving primarily as a decorative "improvement" to other brides' appearances. **"Kissing Begins at 3 O'Clock"** depicts women gathering to attend a lecture, with the caption suggesting they're primarily motivated by romantic opportunity rather than intellectual interest. **"In Florida"** appears to be a brief golf anecdote. The overall tone reflects period attitudes toward women's economic incompetence, marriageability anxiety, and superficiality—common Judge magazine stereotypes targeting middle-class female behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE AUCTION AT FITCH'S. “Serves some women right,” said old Mrs. Magruder when the conversation began to lag. “What does?” asked her neighbor, who stood with her apron over her head waiting to hear the latest gossip. “Trying to beat the rest of the world. You've heard about Min Stevens and the auction, haven't you? No? Well, it’s too good. They were going to have an auction over at Fitch's, right across the street from where Min lives, and Min asked if she couldn't put in an easel and a couch and a lamp. things she had been trying to give away for along time. Cost her ten cents to get the things taken over to Fitch's. When the auctioneer put up the lamp somebody bought it for fifteen cents. Then the easel brought ten cents; that's twenty-five. An old maid in the crowd bid seventy-five cents for the couch. Min thought she'd raise the bid in the hope that the old maid would go higher. Well, they see-sawed until the old maid bid a dollar and forty-five cents, Then Min bid a dollar and a half, and when no more bids came the auctioneer knocked it down to Min, When she came to square up with the auc- tioneer—oh, well, pay his commission, then, if you want it Qe ? IN FLORIDA, Lorren (after the fifth attempt to get the ball over his fourth hink it must run in the fami How's that?” My grandfather fought at Bunker hill.” that way—he charged her forty cents, My land! wasn't she mad! It cost her ten cents to get her old couch back home. There she was without her lamp and her easel, and she still had the couch on her hands and was out thirty-five cents. I tell you Min Stevens ‘Il never try to sell anything at auction again.” A QUESTIONABLE HONOR. KATE said, as rang the weding-chimes, = She'd been a bridesmaid seven times, AN INAPPRECIABLE QUANTITY. To brag of that was hardly wise, Tommy—" Ob, he's the foxiest boy in the class, He knows which side his bread is buttered on, For she’s not lovely in men's eyes; you bet!” And each bride knew, and tried the test, Housy—" Huh! I'll bet he wouldn't if my mother did the buttering.” With Kate beside she'd look her best. KecTUAE E KISSING BEGins. BY THE GREAT & ar 30°CLOcK — WAITING THEIR CHANCE. Some young women who are determined not to miss the one great opportunity of a lifetime. comicbooks.com