Judge — January 14, 1899 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

udge OTTO’S TECHNICAL TANGLE. EES brize-fighding craze vot's god eferypody oxcided nowdays ought to god some shteps taken for some shtops peing put to it, Dere are no Cherman brize-figders. Dot fact alone shouldt condemn der peesness instantly. Vherever you vill findt honorable shport dere you vill findt der Cherman contesting—such as turning und wrestling und schuetzenfests und peer-drinking matches—such contests vot lead up to edification und healdth. Und yet der neiss- papers uphold it, saying dot it's manly und not prutal. Vell, 1 sup- pose dot dey got to sell deir papers somehow ; but ven I, Otto Gott- liebstein, picks ub a paper und reads apoud a brize-fighder shtep- ping sidevays und putting a “hook” into der oder feller's jaw it looks to me like | dot vos der limit of prutality; und if der law von't a shtoppit put to brize-figtiding it shouldt at least be dot humanitarian to take avay der hooks und let dem use clubs, py chim! und dot’s all dere is apoud id. : HEARTY CONGRATULATIONS, . * Now for a loftie over that bunker. — Qe way 8 =SHARP SHOOTING. ye “2fal F YOU were in an cating-school,” Lays The pretty waitress said With dignity to Frisky Fool, Who rude advances made, “T think "—her tones were icy cool, Erect her little head— “* Tf you were in an eating-school A LOYAL son, Damm was his name, Who wed the other day, Apprised his father of the same By telegram straightway, These words, at once wired back from home. | Caused him to laugh aloud : ** Accept congratulations from The whole Damm crowd.” HENRY RERD CONANT. EASILY EXPLAINED. Skeptic—" You still believe in spiritualism. and yet, at the séance last night, the medium —— called up your grandmother and she didn’t know 2. —Holy smoke! it's still goin’ up.— ew, many daughters DIDN'T FEEL THE COMPETITION. ahead 4 Believer —" Oh, Uncle Hiram— Silas says that when he was down wellt’paatanters ter New Vork that time, five weeks ago, he never see sech memory was getting crowds of people in his life. The streets, he says, were so way mien ant full of people that a feller had ter step inter a buildin’ or before she died.” an alley in order ter turn around, The town was jest alive with folks all the time he was there.” Uncle Abner—' Pshaw! who'd have thought it? Sech crowds there, an’ it bein’ the week of our county fair!” ‘They'd put you at the head.” HN OW Yeeorbars ye: PEELE Pa A DESIRABLE HEIGHT. Little Rily Kaw (who has an inquiring mind) —* Paw, show tall ought a well-built man to be?” Mr. Kaw (a Kan- sas populist) —“ Tall enough to keep his whiskers from drag- gin’ on the ground.” ACCORDING TO HIS LIGHT. Sunday-school teacher —" There is but one thing in the world, chil- dren, that we can put our faith and reliance in confidently. Do any of you know what it is?” Georgie Babibruther—" Ves'm;; safety-pins, ma'am.” That's the third ball I've sent out of season, hang it!" A NEW IMMORTAL. Tracukx—"* Now, children, what can you tell me about the immortal George?" ScHoLAR—* He knocked the spots out of the Spaniards at Manila, ma'am.” 4. Bot the ball came hack. comicbooks.com