Judge — November 19, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*FEMININE EVASIVENESS. Judge—" How dare you appear before me for such a_ trivial charge? Why, your wife says she only threw coffee- grounds at you.” Mr. Johnson— “Yes, yo’ honah; but dose groun’s wuz in biilin’ coffee, an’ de biilin’ coffee wuz in a heavy coffee-pot, sab. _ Mah wife dun fo'got toe testify toe de hull ob de distressin’ combination, yo'r honah.” THREE OLD BIRDS. EAMING with foster-motherhopd, She asked (still fiercely ruminant) The hall-room’s latest occupant, ‘+ And do you find the turkey good?” At first he seemed to have no tongue; But presently he gravely eyed His vis-a-vis, and thus replied, “ Madam, they say the good die young.” EDWARD W. BARNARD, AN UNFAILING BUSINESS BAROMETER. Stranger—" You say that times are better than they were a year ago? How can you tell? Don’t you know that business can never really improve until we have some financial legislation?” Uncle Abner—* Dunno anything about that, mis- ter; but I do know that business is better right here in this neighborhood than it has been any time since 1890. Our township assessor says he kin report only seven dogs in the hull township this year as against thirty- four last year an’ over fifty in the panic year of ‘ninety- three. Yes, sir; times air improvin’.” THE INTIMATE, “THE trees had been dipped in a pigment of sunshine and frost. The hillside was splendid. Nature had not begun to count her lost gold. The sad days had not come yet. Sackcloth and ashes were unknown yet, and autumn held high carnival. IN BOSTON, what ?" Boston noy—"* Vulgar people call it a spitz.” What kind of a dog is that, little boy 2” t, madam, is an expectorating dog.” § {J s eas 5S) 1. On moving-day the artist suddenly dis- covers that he has left a spot on the carpet. from a distance. How splendid! We drew rein and took breath. The little ‘one screamed with delight. “Oh, the beautiful trees! Take me to them. I want them for mine.” Her face droop- ed_as we left the clear sunshine and her eyes strained after the tree-tops. Gnarled trunks bar- red our passage, thorns sprang in our way. “The beautiful trees! We have lost them.” “Little one, they are here.” But she sighed. Oh, you poor lit tle thing! you poor little thing! You have learned your lesson too early. KATHRINE GROSJEAN, We approached . THANKSGIVING TIME. G HE stood before the foot-lights’ glare, With jewels flashing on her hair ‘And roses in the fall and flow Of laces on her breast of snow. She sang of love, but felt again A sharp regret, a homesick pain, For withered woodlands white with rime Thanksgiving time. The lights were out, the music stil She shivered, for the air was chill. Is my old lover there,” she said ; Or is he wed; or is he dead? For hearts, world-weary, once a year Will dream again of faces dear, ‘And turn to home from every clime Thanksgiving time. All night upon the fallen leaves The frost its fairy fabric weaves ; The rows of yellow pumpkins shine Like golden coaches drawn in line ; The cedar wears a purple gem, ‘The sumac-bush a diadem ; The brook repeats its silver rhyme . Thanksgiving time.” So over many a league of foam And mile of land she journeyed home ‘And, treading in familiar ways, Forgot the world and all its praise. She put her rainbow silks away For gingham blue and homespun gray, And bells rang out a wedding-chime Thanksgiving time. sina savin comicbooks.com