Judge — September 24, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A TEST OF TRUE LOVE. E LOVES me not,” the maiden moaned. ** His actions plainly show He loves me not.” And then she groaned With bitterness of woe. “ Why, that is strange !" exclaimed her friend, “ For he devotes spare hours To make you happy, and doth spend A lot for sweets and flowers.” “* He loves me not,” the maiden cried ; “* For when abroad we roam, No matter if we walk or ride, He takes the short cut home.” TOM CHRYSTAL. OVER THE JEWELRY- COUNTER. Customer —" Will you show me some rings—diamond rings?” Clerk— Cenainly. This way, please. Half-hoop or solitaire?” Customer—" Solitaire; a large stone with a low, heavy setting.” 2 Clerk—" Will you try this one BEATEN OUT. on?” Gorr ALone—" What do you think of the panes race Me: Silverberg are Customer —* Ihisn't for myself ; MR. SILVERBERG—" Vell, mine frendt, I t'ink der Hebrew vins by a nose.’ it's a—er—an engagement-ring. Still, if I tried it on #Ais finger, per- WHY MRS. WURROBY WAS VEXED. haps "— MB: WURROBY, whose summer home is at Wayout, had been ordered by his physician to Clerk—" Here's a fine stone, large and of the avoid the climbing of stairs on account of a weak heart. This incident shows how faithfully first water. How will this do?” Mr. Wurroby obeyed the instructions, One afternoon he had been left in charge of the baby Customer—" Have you—a—any bar- g while his wife had gone to visit a friend, gains—any mark-downs or special sales, distant two miles. The baby did many you know?” interesting things during her absence, but, Clerk—" Ob, yes. Here's a stone with most interesting of all, fell down stairs into a slight flaw, which scarcely shows, You Ps the cellar. Mr. Wurroby was about to may have it for half price. It’s a real bar- ES dash after the child, but bethought him of his weak heart and paused. Then he rushed from the house and ran swiftly to the home of the friend, distant two miles. Having informed Mrs. W. of the accident, he ran back, not stopping for breath until he sank down at the cellar-way door, not so exhausted but that he could observe with some feeling of relief that the little one was sitting peacefully on the cellar- floor, playing with a potato, “Ttell you,” he said to his Sap wife when that nearly-distracted woman appeared be too careful. I didn’t like to interrupt your visit, my dear, but you know what the doctor said.” THE VITAL POINT. Surgeon —"1 don't know whether he will bé able to stand an operation.” Physician —"1s bis heart weak?” ee Ae ks ee, Suergeon— No; he doesn’t . THE ZLEPHANT—"‘ Flatter than a pancake. An idea 1s Til just blow him up a bit ; that'll makesbiei all right, ®™ to/bave much trroney. gain.” soe |e sna amen 9 Customer— Oh, that will do nicely. And if it doesn’t fit may I bring it back and change it?” Clerk— Certainly. Do you wish it engraved inside?” Customer —"Yes. Write it down, please, that there may be no mistake— ‘Katharine to Willy.’ That's right. Be ( q 2. The elephant meets with an accident; likewise the monkey. sure to spell Katharine with aK, Good-morning.” Clerk— Good-morning, madam.” ONE ADVANTAGE. Cobwigger—* What ben- efit would we derive from re- taining the Philippines?” Merritt—“To judge from the costumes of the na- tives, our girls would prob- ably get some new ideas for ree i ; ome —""Ah, be commences to look ship-shape once more. bicycle-suits, Another puff and he'll be as good as ever."” Ub iatst at comicbooks.com