Judge — September 24, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photo. by Morrison. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. OLIVE REDPATH IN ‘THE FRENCH MAID,” A face all smiling like sunshine, ‘A form with fairy waist. A utter of something shapely In lingerie e — Who says the liking for Olives Ts an acquired taste? A SURPRISE. 1, Tuirsty pur—‘‘Aha! I hear running water somewhere. I'll have a drink now.” AN UNDEVELOPED FIELD. SeTHAT yankee that arrived yesterday,” said Saint Peter, “is something of a hustler.” “What's he been doing,” inquired the chief usher, “ trying to sell armor-plate to Charon ?” “No; he's been selling pneumatic repair-outtits to the saints to mend their halos with.” MUSTERED OUT. THE soldier-boy forgets the pain, Though bandages still bind him, For, home once more, he greets again ‘The girl he left behind him, HAD EATEN GREEN APPLES. Dorothy (before a lobster-stall, closely regard- ing a pan of unboiled lobsters) —“'I should think folks ‘d know better ‘n to pick lobsters green’s that. They'll have an awful stomach - ache if they eat them.” MR. McGARVEY’S INCONSISTENCY. ME WOIFE an’ mesilf would be livin’ this day in single blissidness wid some other +. man an’ woman if th’ ilegant thought hadn't come t’ me whin me moind wor a blank. She wor a Doolan, an’ th’ father av her wor bint on her marryin’ money, which wor what Oi wor lackin’ in great quantities. But Oi loved her an’ she loved me wid a love thot wor dape as th’ ragin’ sea an’ full as salty wid tears, an’ whin Oi imigrated we plidged oursilves t’ be true for a thousand years—barrin’ naither av us doied. Thank hivin Oi'm not th’ only McGarvey in th’ world! Shure, Oi'd been in Ameriky one short year, about a cintury long wid- out th’ girl, whin Oi rades a pace in th’ paper av a moine-owner av me name mak- in’ a fortune. Thot noight a thought comes t’ me whoile Oi wor dozin’ t’ slape, an’ in th’ mornin’ Oi wroites a litter inclosin’ th’ pace from th’ paper an’ a money- order—ivery cint Oi hod—sayin’ th’ one word “come.” Bliss her! The darlin’ come, bringin’ her father’s blissin’, an’ we starved an’ froze t'gither th’ rist av th’ winter, an’ wor thot happy yez don’t know. AND SHE TOOK THE RING OFF. ‘Tom Inntt—* What did that telephone-girl say to you when she broke the engagement ?” : Jack Ports —" King off.” Yis, thot’s her in th’ yard beyant wid me daughter. Th’ girl ‘s wantin’ t' marry a poor stick named Mulligan, wid not a cint t’ th’ name aither, an’ her mother's tillin’ her we won't be havin’ "8 it. i'm not carin’ so much thot th’ felly 's poor, but, bejakers, he’s such a loier yez can’t b'lave him, aven whin he kapes his mouth shut, an’ th’ hap ness av a daughter 's too sacred t’ be troifled wid entoirely, Poor, misguoided girl; how she wapes ! ete nana FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT. jl ** BUT I thought,” said the Spaniard, « that you said the Americans would run when they saw our soldiers.” “ Well, they did run,” replied the Spanish gen- eral. “The frightened wretches were so confused that they used no judgment whatever in deciding in what direction to run. We did our best to get out of their way.” 2. “I want my mamma.” comicbooks. om