Judge — September 3, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A HOME RUN. “* What does this base-ball report mean when it men- tions a ‘homer’ ?* “I don’t know ; it's Greek to me," LETS THE NATION SUFFER NOW. Uncle Reuben—" Silas don’t talk so much ‘bout politics as he used to. A couple of years ago he was the best-posted feller on national finances I ever saw.” Uncle Joshua—" He was; but since then. he's raised some rattlin’ good crops.” THE EAREY“MORNING. FLY. ‘When the hour approaches, ERSISTENT insect ! Sweetest of all for slumber but for thee— The hour the sun on night’s demesne encroaches ‘And clangs the rising-bell in fiendish glee— In rest’s preserves thy droning utterance poaches ; The luxury of drowsiness doth flee Not to return ; ear, eyebrow, chin and nose Become a play-ground for thy sticky toes. Thou fiddling persecutor! Specimen Most dread in all the range of entomol- ogy! The shades of hades fall upon me when, With license shocking and without apology, My countenance thou scratchest like a hen, And lettest go thy wing-attuned dox- ology, And ceasest not around my bed to foster ill, Climb my mustache and titillate my nostril, Thave become accustomed to the sound Of church-bells that could once my comfort veto ; Am vexed not by the newsboy's noisy round ; Sometimes succeed in smashing the mosquito ; Town clocks no more afflict with aural wound ; I'm dead when spiders tread my blanket-free toe; But thou—1 aim a blow instinct with feeling, And zip! untouched thau scootest*toward the ceiling. ‘The straight and narrow way I strive to wal "God-fearing and upright I wish to live ; Bat thou contrivest good resolves to balk, Of blasphemy thou'rt so provocative. Still wilt thou banish sleep and at me mock E’en when of spread and sheet I make a sieve DISASTROUS TEMERITY,. 1. Hunrer—"I got nearer to you than [ expected. Now TM nail— A FATAL MISS. THOUGH Spain supportsthe bull-fight It helps her not a bit, For it is plain her guoners The bull’s-eye never hit. EXPLAINED. Julia—"\ thought Mr Benedict swore that he would never marry.” Harold— So he did, be- fore he enlisted, He is one of those converts to annexa- tion as a war measure.” 8, ——IE I ain't up against (tohack /) — 2, —(ign Great Scott !— 4. —P, T. Bayrum's escaped trick-boxing kangaroo I" ‘Yo guard my face, leaving small fissures there To get a pinch of necessary air. T cannot lose thee, oh, abandoned creature ! With all assortments of buzz, bite and snip Thou gettest at me, harassing each feature With wing and wiggling leg of sucker tip. Why thine activities beyond-my reach are? From my wrecked peace relaxeth not thy grip? Unswattable, pestiferous. little sprinter, Do go where thou art said to go in winter. JOWN TALMAK, PATRIOTIC. 66] SUPPOSE you don't want Spain to win,” said Mrs. Gazzam to Tommy Taddells, who was entertain- ing his mamma's caller. “No, indeed,” replied Tommy ashe drew himself up to his full height; “I'm a patriarch, Iam.” THE REASON WHY. © MORE the Spaniard fights the bull In costume trim and trig, For he has found to his regret He cannot fight the" pig.” comicbooks:¢om