Judge, 1898-09-03 · page 5 of 16
Judge — September 3, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Evening Conversation"** mocks marital dynamics through a couple debating a man's Alpine hat. The wife claims the hat itself is ugly and gives her husband a sinister appearance, but when he agrees to change it, she reveals the real issue: they can't be seen wearing identical hats in public. The satire targets feminine vanity and the absurdity of marital arguments. **"At Nantucket"** is patriotic verse about a woman in a red, white, and blue bathing suit who gets bitten by a "soldier-crab" while patriotically bathing—likely a humorous reference to WWI-era patriotism. **"Cruelty to Animals"** and other brief pieces continue the magazine's typical format of short jokes and one-liners. The page is primarily **humorous domestic and social satire** rather than political commentary, focusing on everyday absurdities of American middle-class life. The advertisements for a restaurant complete the commercial nature of the publication.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
\VENING CONVERSATION. Mrs, Hokmboddie—" John, 1 am going to ask you a favor. Will you, for my sake, please stop wear- ing that Alpine hat you are so fond of?” Mr, Hohmboddie—“You don’t like it?” Mrs. Hohmboddie (with en- ergy)—"' Like it? Nobody could.” Mr. Hohmboddie—"\ do.” Mrs. Hohmboddie—"\ can't believe you do.” Mr. Hohmboddie—" Why, you just accused me of being fond of it.” Mrs. Hokmboddie—" Oh, 1 meant fond of wearing it. The hat in itself is simply frightful. It actually makes me shudder every time-you put it on.” Mr, Hokmboddie (in surprise) —“ Shudder?” Mrs. Hohmboddie—" Yes, shudder. The sin- ister look it gives to your face, the expression of low cunning-and deceit—ugh! (Shudders.) You must CRUELTY TO ANIMALS. discard it—please.” The woman ought to be arrested for cruelty to animals."" Mr. Hohmboddie—" Why, my dear girl, but it Noe bee jae Be seem meee w hastend' i eametege) AT NANTUCKET. [ LIKE my latest bathing-suit, It is so dainty and so cute, And has each proper hue To show I'm patriotic ; for I now disport along the shore Robed in red, white and blue. I linger on the silver sand Among the breezes soft and bland, And watch the sea-gull skim And plunge into the tossing wave. I follow him with spirit brave, Headforemost and with vim. Ouch! Never mind ; no word I'll say, For this is war's most glorious day. My toe I will not grab, But say I'm happy through and through Because that bite beneath the blue Was by a soldier-crab. RX, MUWETTTRIC. EXCUSABLE. ITS NATURE. Yes, I saw your son in the city. He's making a name for himself.” «s\VVERY,” sayr Bennie, “is a word a feller never SLAUGHENHAUPT—"'Sho! So the old name ain't good enuff? Wa-al, I don’t know ez has to use ‘cept when he's dressed up.” I kin blame him much, considerin’,” is exactly the same as your Alpine hat—the same shape and color. And I am sure you look very well in yours." Mrs. Hohmboddie (promptly)—" Of course. It all depends on the wearer.” Mr. Hokmboddie —“ Then, in that case, it would be of no use for me to make a change, would it?” Mrs, Hohmboddie—" Now don’t distort my meaning, John, Can’t you see how absurd it is for us, when we go out so much together, to wear the same sort of hat?” Mr. Hohmboddie (enlightened) — O-o-oh! And that is the reason you wish me to throw it away?” Mrs, Hohmboddie—" \t certainly is. What other reason could I possibly have? MADELINE 5, BRIDGES, UNION RULES TO BLAME. Shade—“ What's the matter with Gideon's band? There hasn't been an evening concert in ten days.” Saint Peter—Gid 's been having some SERRE ESE : Aa This shows where Cholly Drigoods sits when And this is where he is found when he eats a trouble with .the union. he eats a filteen-cent meal. dollar-and-a-half table-d'-h6te at a swell restaurant. ses comicbooks.com