Judge — September 3, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SURE SIGNS. RING around the moon in summer Is a sign of rain, that’s plain ; And a ring around a woman's finger Ts also a sign of reign, OUR TRIBUNAL. Wicks—" | realize that we have come to the forks of the road. The United States must either adopt a policy of imperialism, or lose many of the benefits of the war But what course would be best forus?” 3 Hicks—" | cannot tell you. I did not at- tend a single high- school commencement this year.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. NELLA BERGEN. In club or diamond, spade or heart, Doth fortune, Nella, on you wait? Oris it that their signs impart An anxious fond admirer's fate? Whatever luck your cards may tell, "Tis certain that you play them weil. REAL CULTURE. Minerva (to Beth, who is visiting her in Boston) —“ For pity’s sake, don’t say pantry any more; say trou- tised ?" BEYOND CURE, HOUGH Uncle Sam takes Spanish land Ile also is a maker ; For every Spanish don to-day Is doubtlessly an acher, A LOUD REPORT. “THERE was a great report on the Spanish side, and ten thousand Americans fell dead. It was horrible slaughter, unprecedented in military annals, and demonstrated Spain's re- sistless power in war. The report was heard around the world, and all na- tions stood aghast. It was a Spanish official report of an en- gagement between an American picket and a regiment of Spanish regulars, A LIFETSAVER. . will yer go out inter deep water an’ make berlieve yer drowndin’? I want ter try my dog.” Country BOARDEK—"* Where's that grand waterfall that you ailver- Farmer—"* W'y, gosh-a-mitey ! hain’t ye seen that spout up there? Well, sir, when it rains the water comes pourin’ out there, makin’ as sery!" purty a waterfall as ye ever want to see.” HE FETCHED IT. ++ OORAW, boys!” exclaimn- ed.an enthusiastic vet- eran of the.civil war, as a regi- ment of the volunteers of ‘ninety- eight marched by on their way to the railroad-station. ~ It’s keepin’ everlastin'ly at it that wins, You can conquer any- thing or anybody if you keep tryin’ long enqugh. I know what I'm talkin’ about; I've been there! Thirty-seven years ago to-day I laid on my stummick knee-deep in swamp water, with the mosquitoes stabbin’ me in a thousand places, abd the gnats and gad-snappers eatin’ me alive, and waited ten hours for the stin torise. That's jest what I doné, boys.” ‘ : “ What happened then, Un- cle Jack?" inquired ongyof the volunteers. “ What was the re- sult of your waiting for the sun to rise ?” d “Why —er—er—it rose,” replied the veteran. : BUSINESS BAROMETER. . sTHE talk about this war having been injurious to Spain,” said the Spanish official, “is all nonsense. In many lines of activity our noble country has witnessed an eclipse of all pre- vious records. “She has?” muttered the gloomy sefior. ‘In what line, Td like to know ?” “ Well, for an example, the recent passenger traffic from America to Spain has never been equaled in our history.” comicbooks. com