Judge — May 14, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOME OF THE “OLD MARY.” ARY STONE, the wife, believed that children should be baptized. Adam Stone, the husband of Mary and an obstinate old sinner, ridiculed the rite, Mary, however, filled with religious zeal, determined to have her way. Adam, filled with what he called common sense, determined to have his way. The opposing views of husband and wife became generally known, and when the minister's next preaching-day came around a large congregation gathered into the little country church to see whether or not the latest Stone would be baptized. Adam succeeded in keeping the little child in his arms during services, and he held it with an expression of countenance that indi- cated that he had come there to rule. His wife, sitting across the cburch, looked at him every few minutes'with a more holy but an ‘equal do-or-be-found-trying expression. When the service closed the minister, as was his custom, stated that if any were present who wished to have the rite of infant baptism administered they were requested to present themselves with their children at the font. For some moments there was an ominous silence. Finally the minister looked at Adam Stone as if to call him to his duty; but Adam Stone was not to be called by a look. Then the minister looked at “Sister” Stone. “' Sister" Stone arose, walked over to where her husband was sitting and laid hold upon the infant Stone. The surly old father after'a moment loosed his hold, but his nos- trils dilated and his eyes followed his wife, blazing with anger. The mother with a triumphant air bore the Stone of contention to the font. The name of the child was given, and the minister raised the water and began the ceremony. “God grant,” he began In a very fervent tone, “that the old Adam in this child may be destroyed.” LITERAL, To kick a paint-pail off the house Was tried by Painter Ducket. He slipped and fell, Alas! ‘twas plain ‘That he had kicked the bucket. Adam Stone may have heard this sentence of the ritualistic formula before, but to-day he thought it was a thrust at him personally and not at our sinning first ancestor whose name he bore. Exasperated beyond repression, he sprang to his feet and burst THE RURAL HUMORIST. SHE name of that lazy-lookin’ feller over there," remarked Jay Green, “is Lyman Tutt, but we call him ‘ Key- hole-in-the-back-of-the-clock. out, “Yes; an’ if you'd git some uv the old Mary in him destroy- ed he wouldn't be hurt!" And then he sat down and shook with the vio- lence of his emo- “ What in the name.of wonder do .you call him that for?” asked the bak- ing- powder drum- mer. “ Breuz he is al- ways behind time.” tion. nw. recae, ONE EXPLA- NATION, ss] WONDER how Saratoga chips got their name?” said Mrs. Darley. “Saratoga is a great place for pok- er-games,” replied Mr Darley. CONSTANCY. SePOES Mrs. D Marrby al- ways agree with her husband ?” “Agree? She'd fall in with him if he was to walk into a cistern.” A DIVINITY IN DANGER. Tur GovERNESs—"'Ah, lady! I don't know what's come over Lionel. Th’ little hangel 's got a hinsane mania to play with boys an’ hact like ‘em, mum—regularly hact like ‘em.” | | BLE I yg HIS MISTAKE, Seeing that the dog was chained, Wayward Maloney went bravely on, not knowing that Farmer Jones had adopted — —the trolley system. comicbooks.com