Judge — May 14, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A TIMELY TIP. SHE tells you, in her pretty way, Soft eyes upraised as if to pray She dreamed of you the night before. Now, when it's got as warm as this, ‘A warning tip is not amiss : Take care, young man; go there no more! KIND, Bride-elect (at the rehearsal) —" You know one must always wear something old and some- thing new, something borrowed and something blue at one’s wedding. Now, I have every- thing but the last. What blue article shall | choose ?” Best man (who once hoped for a little different assignment rae g in the cast)“ You can wear my A SATISFACTORY SEMBLANCE, feelings, if you like.” VETERAN PickeT—" Yer kin bet I didn’t serve as a picket in our last civil war without learnin’ a few of the ropes.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES, LIZZIE DERIOUS DALY. T went to Harlem in the rain, And made the journey gayly, Because it was to greet again Dear Lizzie Derious Daly, Yet—Hariem’s far, and Tam busy : Why will you be so distant, Lizzie? AN UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCE. TWAS the first time that Dorothy had been allowed to enter the sick-room where her mother was recovering from a severe attack of fever. After look- ing at her mother for a moment in silence she ex- 7 claimed, greatly troubled, “Oh, mamma, somebody ’s emptied your head and—and hasn't put back the hair.” A RUINOUS DREAD. Mr, Grabstein —* Vatch oud, Repecca, und don’d led leedle Ikey purn himself, or his peesness future is ruined! A SHOCK, Mrs. Grabstein —* How vos dot?” Dracon —"* Wouldn't Alfred like to come to Sunday-school and get a pretty picture-card every Mr, Grabstein —" Vy, ‘a purnt child dreads der S@bbath? Ke ALFRED—"‘Are they anything like papa’s picture-cards of queens, kings, an’ jacks that he plays fire, poker with every Sunday night ?” SLIGHTLY ALTERED. WHEN Mes. Parvenu entertained ‘The social-culture club at tea A constant laugh of mirth unfeigned Ran round the circled company. The richest treat of all, they say, Was when, before her guests had gone, She bade the orchestra to play “That sympathy from Meddlejobn.”” ROY PARRELL Gemuwe, WHY SHE IS A BAPTIST. rr LL, Clarinda, I hear you are going to leave the Bap- tist church and turn Catholic,” said Mrs, Sippi to her colored cook. “No, I ain't; I seriously dis- posed to dat Catholic chu’ch,” re- turned Clarinda with conviction in her tone, * What have you against it?” “Same what all eddicated folks A SHOOTING-SCRAPE. has—what Mist’ John an’ Mist’ Ed ‘Tur. texEnroot—"* Was it a shooting-scrape ?” reads in dem law-books — it ain't Tux TeRRoK—" Yep! Thet barber used a dull razor on Bill jest oncet too often.” got no hell.” comicbooks.com