Judge — May 14, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SPANISH GRATITUDE. HE duke of Veragua ‘s given a bull, | ‘The biggest and best he can boast, To make a grand bull-fight, and money to war On the nation that once was bis host. Bat whatever the size of the animal is It surely is certain and clear It isn’t as big as the one that we made By inviting Veragua here. MC LANDBURGH WILSON, NEEDED OILING. \\ ‘A DEE. buzzing very loudly, flew Y in at the open window. “My! his wings must be aw- fully rusty,” exclaimed Nan, “Just hear how they creak!” COULDN'T FATHOM IT. "Oi see ivery wan ilse take aff their overcoat whin they git an these things. Oi guiss Oi'll do th’ same thing. — . NURSERY VERDICTS. oe ELL, Mollie, how do W you and Tom like the new baby-sister? She's a dar- ling, isn’t she?” “ Everybody talks lots about ‘er, and the nurse showed ‘er to us this morning.” “Well?” “You may think she’s nice, but Harry says he wouldn't be ‘er, and Tom wouldn't be ‘er, and / wouldn't be ‘er.” WHILE SITTING ON THE BANK. [ QUITE despise the fisherman Whose catches I can doubt ; For the liar has such leisure To think his stories out. THAT'S IT. Mrs. Shackelford— They say that a distinct moan comes from Niagara.” Mr. Shackelford—"\ sup. pose that is because Niagara is Suomi: placed in a falls position.” “* He only married her fer her bicycle. it wuz only a bluff and she never had a wheel in her life.” *Ah, heavens! wot a warnin’ dat is never ter love anybody fer anything except love.” —Begorra ! an’ Oi weigh tin pound moor.” A WARNING, He wanted it ter learn ter ride on. After marriage he found out A NEW DEPARTURE. Tue Lapy—"* Conductor, isn't this my comer?” Conpuctor—"' No, mum ; it’s Dugan's. (Aside. Shure, an’ things hov come to a purty pass whin women own saloons.” THE MORE THE MERRIER. [ HAVE twenty-two fair sisters, which is quite a congregation ; To their number, though, I've not the least objection. Why there are so many of them, pray accept this explanation, There are two by birth and twenty by re- jection. on PROFESSIONAL SOMNO- LENCE. First burglar —"The first cop we meet that's asleep we must steal his club.” Second burglar—* What for?” First burglar—" We may need it to apply to the soles of the night-watchman in the store we are to rob, You know how hard these night-watchmen are to awaken.” a comicbooks.com