Judge — March 19, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR NEWSBOY. XTR'! extr’! hear me shout. Here's yer latest extra out— “* Extra” number forty-seven. A reporter visits heaven, Also what he saw in hades— Bound to interest the ladies. Evening "extra out at noon— How we found Andrée’s balloon. Extr’! extr'! hear me shout. Number forty-eight 's just out— Arson, murder, robbery, riot. Here's yer “extra”; come an’ buy it All the news an’ no omission, Each five minutes an edition. All the war news on the map and How we got it ere it happened. Watite NYE THE REALISTIC SCHOOL. IVIAN’S residence is much in the way of book-agents, itinerant tea and coffee merchants, enlarged-photograph artists, anc. improved- silver-polish philanthropists. Every historian is influenced to a greater or less extent by his personal surroundings and the things of his own times. For example: Vivian was reciting in TOO MILD FOR HIM. SMALL Boy—"* Mother, why did Mrs. Brown call papa a fish ?* Foxb MoTHER—" Because he drinks so much, my son.” SMALL noy—" Ves ;-but he never takes teaver.” exceedingly new words the old, old story of Peter's re- lease by an angel from pris- on, All had gone well and glibly up to the point where Peter had found his way to the house of a friend. “Very well. What did he do then?” inquired the listener. “He -e rapped at the door. That's next?” There followed a some- what lengthy pause. Then an inspiration came to the triumphant young historian. “Why, I guess he asked ‘if the lady of the house was in.’ right. What OME people's minds are so broad there is no depth to them, THE DIFFEKENCE. NO DANGER, HER BRIGHT IDEA. seTHATS a very bright idea of yours, Miss Nellie.” “What is a very bright idea, Mr. Dolley?" “Wearing a big hat to the thearre and exasperating everybody in your rear until the curtain rises, and then relieving their anxiety by tak- ing it off and placing it in your “Yes, 1 know; it is a good plan, It attracts atten- tion both to my hat and to my hair.” OST women observe the proprieties so they can snub those who don’t. * Here is ten cents. T hope you won't waste any of it.” Beccar—" No, lady ; not a drop." IN THE MORNING. THE wind is blowing from the south, The ashen buds are swelling ; ‘The bluebird came at peep of dawn And sooght his olden dwelling ; And Nora has a spray of green Her auburn locks adorning, And there's a sprig in Michael's coat Saint Patrick’s day in the morning. For now it is that Irish hearts To thoughts of home are turning— The little cabin roofed with sod, The peat-fire’s cheerful burning ; The music of the merry fife That sent a sudden warning All up and down the village street Saint Patrick's day in the morning. An aged harper went before With tresses long and hoary : The shamrock brightened every breast, ‘And banners lent their glory ; And in the midst the filer marched, A silken sash adorning The middle of his Sunday coat, Saint Patrick's day in the morning. It is to memories such as these ‘That Nora's eyes are filling ; But Michael thinks her curly locks And scarlet lips more thrilling. He finds her in a tender mood, Too soft and sweet for scorning, “They say a man is always nervous when he “And a girl is always nervous when he doesn't.” And so it is they pledge their troth Saint Patrick’s day in the morning. six 1aVviN. REPENTANT. Mas. D.—"'Shame fer yez, Misther Dacy! comin’ home in thot shtate. Oi should think yez'd be ashamed t' let yure childer see yez."” Mr. D. ez is roight, Honora Bridget; yez is roight. Th’ childer musht not see me; it'sh a bad egg- shample (hic), Guessh Oi'll go back t' th’ shaloon agin.” comicbooks.com