Judge, 1898-03-19 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 19, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a collection of short humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical style. Key pieces include: **"Hobson's Choice"**: A child questions why her aunt didn't have a boy and girl instead of two girls—satirizing Victorian gender preferences and assumptions about family planning. **"A Dangerous Change"**: Anti-Irish stereotype humor warning "Pat" that celebrating (implied St. Patrick's Day with a shillelagh) might turn his shamrock into a brick—playing on period caricatures of Irish-Americans as heavy drinkers prone to violence. **"The True Incentive"**: A boy gets praised for honesty about a classroom tack, but admits he only tattled because the culprit could beat him up—deflating moral virtue through cynicism about real motives. **"Way Down in Texas"**: A servant mimics her employer's "style," literally interpreting "low-necked and sleeveless" advice by wearing it to a formal dinner, resulting in ridicule. The overall tone reflects Gilded Age attitudes: class hierarchy, ethnic stereotyping, and gentle mockery of social pretension and human hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
uae HOBSON'S CHOICE, |ADYBIRD, aged four, considered her baby- brother a subject for congratulation. Why didn’t Aunt Ella have a little boy and a girl instead of two girls?” she asked in a critical, questioning mood. I don’t know, deary.” “1 s'pose,” said Ladybird a little im- patiently, but still with generous elation; “Ts'pose she takes what comes, and there she is.” A DANGEROUS CHANGE, FAR better keep cool when you celebrate, Pat, With your sprig of shillalah so slick, Have an eye on the shamrock you wear in your hat, And don't let it turn to a brick. THERE ARE MANY SUCH. Drummer— Who presented the play A CORRECTION, at the town-hall last night Lvctttz—" Ob, Chimmy ! ain't dem cute little monkeys almost human ?* ‘a mer A ‘ * JAMES (with dignity) —** Dey are exceedin'ly womanly, if dat's w'ot yer Ruratville merchant—"A gang of peo ys bracin’ a feiler fer money an’ tryin’ ter poke deir hats on straight, ple disguised as actors. RATHER UN- ‘ = a i WAY DOWN IN USUAL. : { i TEXAS. BENNIE was sur- ‘ ssyou S mighty prised to see a _fond of style, horse go by without ippi.” said Clar- blinders on. “I don't when her new see why that horse mistress suggested an doesn’t have to wear improvement in her glasses same ‘s oth- dress the next time ers,” he remarked there was company at slowly. dinner. The result was that Clarinda took ACCOUNTED mental notes,and when the next occasion ar- if anes fi Fi; Ala JS {rived announced din- eee Cite wan ‘ } ner in a yellow calico, fectionate Clara and 3 = * low-necked and sleeve- Helle are to-nighe} ‘ : less, like a bronze stat- notice they have ase ag ue in evening clothes. ed one another three 7 eo times. They must be THE TRUE INCENTIVE : : TrAcHER—" You are a good boy, Thomas. to inform me that it was Robert who placed the tack ia rivals for the love of my chair. I will see that no harm comes to you by him for your truthfulness." the same man. THomas—" No danger, sir. 1 wouldn't ‘a’ squealed on him if he wuz able ter lick me, sir.” FORESIGHT. Bridget (watching her mistress as she packs a missionary barré))—"' An’ shure, mum, yez musht put in th’ hammer, so they'll hov somethin’ t’ open it wid.” ss AFTER SIX MONTHS OF BAD BUSINESS. WENT AGAINST THE GRAIN, BARN-STORMING MANAGER—"' Oh, say, Hamand ; don't you think, in the next ** Why did you have to give up your position?” Printing, we had better change this letter r to 0?” “Ob, I saw too much.” comicbooks.com