Judge — January 1, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VENING CONVERSATION. Mrs, Hohmboddie —" What are you reading that absorbs you Mr. Hohmboddie (looking up from his book) —"It’s a new Scotch novel.” Mrs. Hohmboddie (with en- thusiasm) —"Oh, | am so fond of those dear dialect things! Do read mea little.” Mr. Hohmboddie—"Can you understand it?” Mrs. Hohmboddie (loltily)— “Can I understand it? Well, 1 should hope anything you can understand need not be Greek to m Mr, Hohmboddie—"No; but it might be Scotch.” Mrs. Hohmboddie—" Go on; read just where you are at.” Mr. Hohmboddie (reading)—"* Ye see, Elpsie,’ said PERTINENT, Duncan doucely,‘1 might hae mair the matter wi’ me Mas, Rarrerty than ye wad be spierin’. Aiblins ma cen is a bit dazzlit, be more charitable, Mrs. Finnegan. Now Oi always belave in givin’ th’ di Mas. FINNEGAN—"* Thin phwy did yez hov yure hoosband’s body chremated whin he doied ?” an’ am hearin’ the poolses thuddin’ in ma ears, an’ ma toongue is clavin’ when it sud be g: n’ div ye no hear the dirlin’ o' ma hairt an’ feel the shakin’ o' ma hond this day gin I gat a glimpse o” ye, ain hirplin’ like an auld mon? Div ye nae guess what's a’ the steer, hinney, wivout me gaein’ it mair words? Mrs. Hohmboddie— Stop, for goodness sake! What in the world is the creature try- ing to say?” Mr. Hohmboddie—" He's making a dec- laration of love.” { x. by Mrs. Hohmboddie—" A declaration of ~ love? I thought he was telling a lot of symp- =, toms to his physician.” Ms otces, THE NEW METHOD. y eae ad M SeTHEN y. i 2 , EN you are going to get a divorce t ; PREPARATORY. ; . a from your husband ?* Fanser Brown (to neighbor Smith)—"* Why, what's the matter with Ferguson—is he crazy ? “o} ae ca we wy Suitn—* Oh, dear, no b.He’s made up his mind he’s a-goin’ to the Klondike next summer, an’ he’s just Ih, mercy, no!” she replied. “ We are acelimatizin’ hisself—that's all.”” merely going to segregate.” ANALOGY. TWAS the first T time Willie had seen any one with the measles. “My!” he exclaim- ed,“ Tommy *s got domino-skin all over his face.” AN UNTRUTH, Baby Finne- 00 - goo! Finnegan (un- der the weather) — “It's a oie! Say it agin an’ Oil smash yure face, an’ th’ face av the anti-Tammany mon phwat towld yez so.” A TRUE Christ. mas story b, BOUND TO BE STYLISH. UL IGNORANCE, . a dyspeptic— Mrs. Deapsev—" Shure, an’ Oi hear thot Mrs. Carroll is afther gittin’ a Fanner HAYRICK (standing on the seat)—" Won. 9 . pS pte i dayvorce.”” . der what in tarnation they're yellin’ ‘Down in front!" Shall not soon for- Mr. Drmpsey—* Och ! an’ it's a divil she allus wor fer kapin’ up wid th’ fy fer? I don't see nuthin’ down thar.” get this dinner.” fashions.” comicbooks.com