Judge — December 4, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae A PLEASANT FUNERAL. REAT waves of satisfaction had swept over Darktown and left evidence of the visit on every face, without regard to age, size, shade, sex, character, or previous condition. The cause of this manifest satisfaction which settled every- where was Brother Sam Johnsing’s splendid funeral. The deceased was a deacon in the church, a member of the grand army of the republic, and belonged to eleven dis tinct and separate lodges, besides having his life insured in two insurance-companies. Each body was represented at the funeral, and there was a dress-parade, a brass band, martial music, and ten carriages of mourners, and four preachers assisted in the service. There were also large quantities of flowers and lamentations. “It was sech a good funeral,” said Sister Jackson, “ an’ eberybody was dere. I wondah whad de case cost?” “L ‘spec’ it took mos’ all ob his insurance toe pay fo" ANOTHER LIE NAILED. IN PRICE? Shall I try a pair of these ten-dollar bicycle-boots on for you?” Lapy—‘'I think not, They come too high,” ITS LOCA- TION. . ‘| WANT to tell you a good joke. My wife found a tack on the floor this morning, and she picked it up and put it on the mantel.” “Yes? Where's the point to the joke?” On the tack, me boy.” WISDOM VS. HONESTY. HE man who carries an um- brella on a pleasant day may be a wise one, ‘Tis the hon- st man who, on a rainy day, leaves his neighbor's in the rack and goes with- out one. CUT OFF WITHOUT A CENT. (‘* Ma says will yer chalk it on de slate?") it,” observed Sister Bedinger. “Wasn't de parade fine an’ de music lubly?” “Yais; an’ dere was so menny kerridges! A real good funeral robs deaf ob menny terrors,” re- marked Sister Jackson with a sigh of satisfaction. “I'm glad I went toe Brudder Jobnsing’s fu- neral—ain’t yo"? It was sech a pleasant funeral.” “"Deed it was. I hope mah ole man will hab as good a funeral w’en he dies.” WALTRE CHAMP. COURTEOUS ACKNOWLEDGMENT. THE hall last night was dark, the lights were low ; ‘The clock on parlor mantel pointed ten. A lover, full determined now to go, Had paused to say a last good-night again. A pair of lips presented to a face Of rosy sweetness kissed it o'er and o'er, Both face and lips exclaimed so commonplace, “It seems that we have met sometime before !” ROY FARRELL CRRENE, NATIONAL CHARACTERISTICS. Sappy—" Scratch a Russian and you'll find a Tartar.” Snappy—“ Yes; but scratch a Scotchman and he'll say ‘ Thank you.” ~ ; A NECESSARY ADJUNCT. CHOLLY (examining some popier-maché antlers for his smoking. room)—'* What is that hole in them for—to hang them up with?” DEALER (aghast)—"* Great Scott, no! That is the bullet-hole.” comicbooks.com