Judge — December 4, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FABLES. THE BALD MAN AND THE FLY, HERE was once a man who owned a head of whose hirsute adorn- ment little could be said. _ This man, while resting from his la- bors, was annoyed by a horse- fly that insistently traversed the phrenological hills and vales of his thought-dome, and utterly refused to take himself off other- wise than temporarily. But this was not ever thus to be, for the man moved his seat in close proximity to a friendly spider- web, Then in unsuspicious haste the fly again flew to its quarry, and a moment later, while evad- ing the usual swat, fell a vic- tim to a more dexterous assail- ant. Moral—-A good thing should not be followed up too closely. GETTING HIS MONEY’S WORTH. Mrs. Golringski —" Isaac! Isaac! vy don’d you come in oud of der rain? Mr. Golringski —* Not for twelf-und-a-haf minutes yet, Rebecca. 1 hired der umbrella for two hours.” NEEDED SOMETHING LARGE, Aunty Chloe —* Hold on dah, ‘Cindy! Whad fo’ yo’ beat Mose ?” Lucindy—"\ done ax him fb’ a buttonhook, an’ de lump o” brack trash handed me a croquet-wicket !” OLD woman—"' Doan’ yo tell me dat. Didn’ I heah yo’ tell de singin’-mastah yo’ couldn’ read notes?” SHE ANSWERED NOT. SeYVILLIE, I don't want to have to talk to you any more; it makes me tired.” (Interval of ten minutes ) “Maw, ain't the social-hour club meetin’s awful hard on you 2” EASY. Severe old lady (in open Broadway car, to man filling his pipe)—“ My man, smoking always thakes me very ill.” “ Lor'—do it, mum? What makes ye try 2” ZOOLOGICAL INFORMATION. “Arrah, thin, Moriarty ! an" phwat is thim bits av bone a-shtickin’ out av his mout’, Oi dunno?” “Shure, an’ thim’’s fer t’ pick his teet’ wid whin he’s got t’rough atin’ his hay,” goes ORAG PROSE MUSEUM-MANAGER—"' Say, Dawkins, I'm sorry to cause you personal inconvenience, but after this week you've got to THE LITTLE QUAIL—"* Mother, is there much wickedness in the world wear a bear-skin suit.” THe MorieR—"* Get in front of a man when he has a shell caught in his Dawxins—"‘Ain't I ter be de hairy man?” gun and see” Manacer—"* Naw; Klondike Ike.” UP TO DATE, comicbooks.com