Judge, 1897-12-04 · page 7 of 16
Judge — December 4, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"The Bald Man and the Fly"** is a fable about a bald man who, annoyed by a horsefly, sits near a spider web where the fly is caught instead. The moral critiques excessive persistence—don't pursue good outcomes too aggressively. **"Getting His Money's Worth"** mocks Jewish immigrants (stereotyped dialect) through a man staying in rain to use an umbrella he rented for two hours' worth of time. **Other brief jokes** include ethnic humor (Irish and Black dialect pieces) and domestic comedy. The "Museum Manager" cartoon references the Klondike Gold Rush era, joking about replacing one exhibition performer with another. The page reflects late 19th/early 20th-century American satire's reliance on ethnic stereotypes and dialectical humor—content that would be considered offensive today. The jokes target working-class immigrants and minorities as sources of comic absurdity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE'S FABLES. THE BALD MAN AND THE FLY, HERE was once a man who owned a head of whose hirsute adorn- ment little could be said. _ This man, while resting from his la- bors, was annoyed by a horse- fly that insistently traversed the phrenological hills and vales of his thought-dome, and utterly refused to take himself off other- wise than temporarily. But this was not ever thus to be, for the man moved his seat in close proximity to a friendly spider- web, Then in unsuspicious haste the fly again flew to its quarry, and a moment later, while evad- ing the usual swat, fell a vic- tim to a more dexterous assail- ant. Moral—-A good thing should not be followed up too closely. GETTING HIS MONEY’S WORTH. Mrs. Golringski —" Isaac! Isaac! vy don’d you come in oud of der rain? Mr. Golringski —* Not for twelf-und-a-haf minutes yet, Rebecca. 1 hired der umbrella for two hours.” NEEDED SOMETHING LARGE, Aunty Chloe —* Hold on dah, ‘Cindy! Whad fo’ yo’ beat Mose ?” Lucindy—"\ done ax him fb’ a buttonhook, an’ de lump o” brack trash handed me a croquet-wicket !” OLD woman—"' Doan’ yo tell me dat. Didn’ I heah yo’ tell de singin’-mastah yo’ couldn’ read notes?” SHE ANSWERED NOT. SeYVILLIE, I don't want to have to talk to you any more; it makes me tired.” (Interval of ten minutes ) “Maw, ain't the social-hour club meetin’s awful hard on you 2” EASY. Severe old lady (in open Broadway car, to man filling his pipe)—“ My man, smoking always thakes me very ill.” “ Lor'—do it, mum? What makes ye try 2” ZOOLOGICAL INFORMATION. “Arrah, thin, Moriarty ! an" phwat is thim bits av bone a-shtickin’ out av his mout’, Oi dunno?” “Shure, an’ thim’’s fer t’ pick his teet’ wid whin he’s got t’rough atin’ his hay,” goes ORAG PROSE MUSEUM-MANAGER—"' Say, Dawkins, I'm sorry to cause you personal inconvenience, but after this week you've got to THE LITTLE QUAIL—"* Mother, is there much wickedness in the world wear a bear-skin suit.” THe MorieR—"* Get in front of a man when he has a shell caught in his Dawxins—"‘Ain't I ter be de hairy man?” gun and see” Manacer—"* Naw; Klondike Ike.” UP TO DATE, comicbooks.com