Judge — November 20, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

326 Sudge HER LEADING QUESTION. WHEN he wooed and won a sculptress, And his tale of love had told, Then the maiden brusquely queried, * Will you love me when I mould ?” AN INTERRUPTION. A FASHIONABLE clergyman in one of the large cities of the country has his quarters in a large hotel. The rooms are in the quietest part of the house, and he can rehearse his sermons without disturbing the comfort of the other guests. Recently he was committing to memory a discourse on the future life, and in the midst of his work he pressed the button and then resumed his oratory. He proceeded with zeal and warmed up to his theme. “In that existence beyond the pale of dreamless death,” he exclaimed, “what shall I want; what shall I sigh for; what shall I need of earth; what shall I" “Tee-water, sir.” came from the porter, whose knock had not been heard; and some- how the sermon did not go so well after that. TOO LATE. ‘Rastus (rushing in)—"* Oh, daddie! Twas down at de comers an’ I hear Mistah Smiff tell de sheriff dat yo’ dun stole his tukkey, an’ dey’s comin’ up heah wif a search-warrant.”” Dappie—" Doan’ yo" git scared, boy. Dey kain't git no warrant toe search our stummicks.” IN COLORADO. HEN woman enlists in our national guard A new state of things she will make. ‘The watchword will doubtless be something like this: * Hush, John, or the baby will wake !” The spinsters would battle with fervor and zest *o capture a man if they could. The infantry orders might be in this wise : ** Tum, tootsey-woots ; march and be dood !" Positions of danger she never would fear ; For curling the hair ‘would be fine. She'd fight with a will till the regiment brave Was marked down to one-ninety-nine. Me LANDRURGH WILSON. SOUND ADVICE, BUT IMPRACTICABL Farmer Foouson—"* My son John seed a secret advertised, HOW IT HAPPENED. ident,’ an’ he sent a dollar tew git it.” ND—"* Wa-al?” Farmer Footson—* nin’ ticket.’ How tew become Mrs. Potter—* What were poor Mr. Dunaway’s Dr. Potter—" He didn't have any. His wife was Wa-al, it jest said, ‘Git ther nomernashun on ther win- THE HEIGHT OF ABSURDITY, So you passed right through London and never stopped to see the queen?” Paarl Mrs. Beaconstreer (of Boston)—' Mrs. Porkentas—'* Goodness gracious | I should as soon think of passing through Dakota and not stopping for a divorce." comicbooks.com