Judge — July 31, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“nage WATERING - PLACE ECHOES. ATS-KILLS—The bootjack. New-port—A sweet bever- age. Old Orchard — The garden of Eden, Bar Harbor — The toper’s retreat, Sara-toga—Madame Bern- hardt’s wrapper. Rich-field Springs —Stand- ard-oil wells. Long Branch—The limb of a banyan-tree. Ocean Grove — The mer- maids’ coral forest. Niagara Falls—A nigh ag- gravating place of falls profits. Old Point Comfort — The north pole in the middle of summer. PROFITABLE. Visitor (in the penitentiary) A DISGUISED IDENTITY. H1 sapposd ihe: peotia tom Orricer McMurtHA—"* Phwat are yez hangin’ about th’ ki is terfeit_ mon bos fer : making counterfeit money were Jaccs — ** My wife won't let me in because she thinks it Photo, by Morrison, quite large?” ain't me, You see, I'm sober to-night.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. Convict — ; NELLA BERGEN, . ¢ “Well, yes; it Your path success-wards is a path of ease, For, like the Sowers you sre born ‘3 please. was a lucre-cre- Zach word, each action, howsoever done, ‘ é Contirms the favor that your smile has won. ative business ‘Such is the vague yet confident conjecture while it lasted.” Of one who knows you—only by your picture. THE PROFESSOR SOLILOQUIZES. my memory is certainly getting better. Now I remember dis- tinctly enough that my wife told me to tie a string about this finger. If L only could think what for!" IN THE CABLE-CAR. The fat lady (sweetly) —“ Beg pardon! Did 1 sit on you, sir?" The lean man (crankily)—" You did, madam.” The fat lady (bridling)—" Oh, well, I dare say you needed it.” UNCLE’S WHISKERS. Ny 46] JNCLE OLDER has not been to see us lately.” “No, and it’s too bad, Bobby asked him the other day how he WHy HE Ler Hen estas de the h: i ake: to ‘kL Ms. Havre. (as daughter dismounti)—" W'y, Sally 1-T tho't thet city feller went ridin’ with yew this arternoon ?” chin, I don't SALLY—" He did; but we met Mary Spriggins, and as she had a puncture know what _ he stayed back with her.” as ; Mrs. HAYFIELD ilas, yew hev got ter go tew town an’ git Sally were going wun uv them punkche We can’t afford ter hev her slighted jest ‘cause she to do with — hain't got ez menny fixin’s on her bisickle ez the other gals.” that child.” SHOCKING, He—" Do you ride your wheel at the seashore ?” She—" Ohyes. Only it’s a nuisance changing one’s suit so often.” He—“Why not ride in your bathing-suit 2” She (horrified) “Impossible! It is too small.” IN ERROR. HE COULD not see the coming blight, Knew not how soon he'd be bereft ; But said, “* SUNDAY-scHOOL TRACHER—"And when the prodigal son said, ies bee returned home his father fell upon his neck and blessed him— ight 3 why did he do that ?” Low answered she, SCHOLAR — ** ‘Cause he was so glad to think he didn’t “No, sir; you're come back with a wife and family, I s’pose.” left AGAINST HIS GRAIN. Tue Brive —'* Oh, fader! vy do you veep?” Gransrnin (tearfully)—"* T haf to gif you avay !” comicbooks.com