Judge, 1897-07-31 · page 3 of 16
Judge — July 31, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 67 This page contains several unrelated short satirical pieces and jokes typical of Judge's format: **"A Mortuary Menace"** (top): A sketch mocking Dr. Bonesetter's Irish dialect and dubious medical practices—likely targeting quack doctors or specific medical charlatans of the era. **The remaining sections** ("Utterly Unsuitable," "Fly-Paper," "Only His Opinion," etc.) are brief humorous anecdotes about everyday social situations: inappropriate Sunday piano music, flies, poetry, soil fertility, hotel rates, and honeymoon mishaps. **"One Member Only"** features a domestic joke about kissing the family. These are general-audience humor pieces rather than political satire—they mock common social pretensions, bad manners, and marital/domestic awkwardness typical of Judge's satirical approach to middle-class American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MORTUARY MENACE. Dr. BonEsETTER—"' Fo’ de Lawd! ef dat yar muel foundahs on he’s way toe de crick toe git watahed dere’s gwine toe be a pow’ful call fo’ mah profeshnal sarvices in dis community.” UTTERLY UNSUITABLE, +e YOU must not play that tune on Sunday,” said Mrs. Higginbottom to her small daughter, who was drumming on the piano. “Isn't it a Sunday tune, mamma?” “No, dear. It is fit only for a sacred concert.” FLY- PAPER. THAT things still run the drag. gist’s way We now can plainly see. If you could speak, we know you'd say: “There are no flies on me.” ONLY HIS OPINION. 66 PON'T you think every man ought to have some poetry in his soul ?” “Yes,” replied the weary editor; “that's the place for most poetry.” Cravpe—"If T kiss you will you call your father?" Mavp— It won't be at all necessary for you to kiss the whole family.” AN INSTANCE IN PROOF. ae Is THE soil rich here ?” inquired the traveler. “Rich!” exclaimed the farmer; “I should say so. A TRYING MOMENT. My wife made a mistake and UP TO HIS LIMIT. Mr. Truly Rural— “They do say your hotel be the puttiest in Ameriky. How much be your rates?” Affable hotel-clerk — “ We can give you a first- class room for ten dollars a day.” Mr. Truly Rural — “Wacal, I calc‘late you kin put me down fer an hourand a half. Andhow much be your dinner ?” Affable hotel-clerk — “ We can give you a first- class dinner for five dol- Mr, Truly Rural — He (ardently in love)—" Rosamond ! by all that's powerful, and 1“ Gewhizz! Jest put me had onions for dinner.” down fer a toothpick.” THE HUMAN REFRIG- ERATOR, HEN summer comes, quite undismayed I stand her ridicule. There’s nothing like the Boston maid To keep a fellow cool. GREAT GRIEF. Sympathizing friend (to reporter) —" You may say that she was thoroughly unmanned by grief” ‘Reporter—* Unmanned ?" Sympathizing friend — “ Yes; she discarded her bloom- ers out of respect for the de- IN THE PAST TENSE, oe Y ESTERDAY,” said Edith, “I saw that hor- rid Jimmie Dawkins on the street. and I gave him the went-by.” Wasrisas A BIASED HONEYMOON. Tue Groom (as he recovers sensibility) —"* W-here 17 “+ Hush, darling! you met with an ac- ae N-n-o, darling! Pa threw an old boot after you, and in his excitement forgot his wooden leg was in it.” comicbooks.com -