Judge — July 31, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNIFRD STATRS AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, One copy, one vear. or 32 numbers - $50 One covy, six months. or 20 numbers = 2.50 One copy. for thirteen weeks = = Including the Cusisruas Juoce. FOKKIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt Soreien countries im the postal union, $6.00 ‘year, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDGE BUILDING). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. FB Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly im the world. A NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- evght ia both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. M®-. FORAKER seems to have lost his information with regard to the Ohio game. THERE WILL be no safety for any kind of women in this town until the police of it are locked up every night. F IT IS TRUE, as Sovereign says, that, Debs is out of his mind, we beg to congratulate Debs on his escape from a most annoying calamity. WE CALL the attention of Mr. Bryan and Mr. Watson to the fact that their brother Democrat, D. B. Hill, has spoken of them many times JUSTICE TO MR. AUSTIN. ‘THE EDITOR of the Troy Press passes judgment in favor of much of Alfred Austin’s poetry. We therefore reach the curious conclusion that he has read some of it, and that is a something which hardly five of his later critics can truthfully say. To be thoroughly equipped as a critic your ruthless paragrapher must know nothing whatever of that which he talks about. THE MEANEST MEANNESS. THE CHARACTER of the men who run down bicycles is indicated by the facts that recently one of them ran down a one-armed man and another a young woman. Both laughed after the cowardly meanness, but both were brought to book. Why they hate bicycles is a curious ques- tion, It must be a matter of malicious envy, and it ought to be punished by a horsewhipping and a term in the penitentiary. THE UNTUTORED INDIVIDUAL. WAR BEING an unavoidable accompaniment of civilization, perhaps it is not strange that the government has disbanded the last of its Indian soldiers. They cannot be civilized in that way, whatever the schools may do for them. ‘They fight from ambush, like sneaks and des- peradoes, and cannot understand that there are such things as manliness, dignity and fair play in the other kind of murdering. THE WICKED WHEEL. A CHICAGO CLERGYMAN insists that the bicycle is a menace to the mind, It annihilates the reading habit, as cranks, HE RATE WAR of the undertak- ers of Kansas City has gone so far that people are contemplating imme- diate death in order to save funeral expenses. JOHN R. MCLEAN thought he was at the head of the silver Democrats of Ohio; but so far from that he can- not be found at the rear end of the procession, THE TITLE conferred on E. Pren- tiss Bailey by Hamilton college is no new thing. The dear old fellow was once doctor of letters in the Utica post-office. WE FEAR itis going to take all of Mark Twain's wealth, present and future, to buy off those of his too obliging friends who want to make a pauper of him, Cnotty Heavycaut— of life, you know,” S*QUR PEOPLE,” said the pro- fessor reflectively, “are now better posted on their own geography than any other people in the world, and all owing to the first JUDGE puzzle.” THE WAR against noise, if properly carried out, will leave no man to work a church-bell or a steam-whistle; and as for Tom Watson he will have to die of his own wind. [TIS BELIEVED by some that the ante-bellum hat worn by the prince of Wales is the one that Senator Evarts has been searching and ing for at intervals during the last forty years. It was hooked. WE CALL the attention of the gold Democrats of the country to the fact that the Democrats of Ohio and Iowa have indorsed the Chi- cago platform, and beg to inquire what they are going to do about it. toe THE LENSES of his mind recently enabled Licutenant-governor Wood- ruff to remark, “The propaganda of free and unlimited silver will receive a deadly sunstroke under the meridian horizon.” Let the stroke come quickly, no matter under what kind of meridian it chooses to occur. HORACE L. CHAPMAN, the silver candidate for governor of Ohio, is only five feet tall and is called “the man of the iron voice.” He is perhaps thought to be a compromise between the ruling metal should think they would change his other title, “the little giant, little Chap.” he says, and not only the church but the reading-rooms and libraries are deserted. So of the hot weather, which brings about less reading and leads to vacations without any church- going or other profit in them, forgetting for the moment the little matter of health. Why not abolish hot weather? THE MAN ’S THE MAN. THE DUKE OF PORTLAND, who is very wealthy, was handed a shilling by a Welsh member of parlia- ment at a queen's party recently, the latter supposing him to be a flunkey. But the duke showed that he was not a person of that humility by calmly handing the coin to a flunkey near him with the remark, * This gentleman wants you to have this shilling.” So that the rank is sometimes rather more than the guinea’s stamp, after all. * A STRONG ARGUMENT. Mr. Cotpcast—" Do you think you could support my daughter in the style to which she has been accustomed ?* No, sir; but, then, variety is the spice OFFICIAL MEDDLING. GOVERNOR BRADLEY sent troops to prevent the lynching of a Kentucky negro. “Why all this fuss and expense?” indignantly inquired one of the best citizens. “There would have been no trouble but for these soldiers. We should have just taken the nigger out and quietly hanged him.” “ Hannah,” remarked the quaint old Pennsylvanian whose wife caught him kissing the servant-girl, “thee'd better go away. Thee'll make trouble in the family.” THE GRAPPLE WITH A MYSTERY. SOMETHING with a mystery in it is the ardent desire of all classes, young and old, A JUDGE with a puzzle in it will attract the atten- tion of any gathering, and it is a safe wager that in one minute half the persons of the group will be hard at work at it. The other day the head of one of the largest establishments in this city telephoned to this office for further information. “I have five children,” he said, “and they're all at work at the last puzzle; and, see here! I'm going to beat ‘em if I can.” ARE MEN SO SELFISH? LADY DECLARES in the North American Review that more men do not marry because they cannot work their wives as thoroughly as the mothers of long ago were worked by their husbands; the women would not submit, and again if they did the matter would be sure to be exposed and discussed in the women’s debating societies, The little mat- ter of love is not touched upon; but it does exist and it is almost always unselfish. We should think that a lady who has such a sweeping con- tempt for men would hardly be broad enough to write wisely on such a subject. comicbooks.com