Judge — June 12, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

398 ape j A RULE MODIFIED. ISS FURLONG," said Mr. Askin, “ allow me to present my friend, Mr. Teeters.” “Lam very glad to meet Mr. Teeters,” re- plied the gracious lady. “T suppose,” added Mr. Teeters, after the introductory ceremony was over, “ that the rule, ‘A miss is as good as a mile,’ must be modified in your case to read an eighth of a mile.” ’‘CORDING TO CUSHING. A PRELIMINARY adjustment of the judicial belt, a last cleansing caress of the judicial beard, and then the “honorable criminal court of Poker Gulch” was in session. The little room over Faro Pete's sa- loon was crowded, for it was a gala-day in the town. A week or so before Horsethief Hank had been caught at his old tricks and only saved from a short shrift by pledging his solemn word of honor to get a lawyer from Timber Butte, the county seat, and have a“ real bang- up trial.” Attorneys had never found it convenient to settle in Poker Gulch, so of necessity justice had always been meted out in a primitive manner, to the great dis- gust of Six-shooter Sam, head of the vigilantes, and his colleagues, who regarded it as indicating a lamentable lack of style as compared to Dead Dog, a rival town, where they had a lawyer and a judge; so Hank's prop- osition was hailed with delight and accepted with alac- rity. Six-shooter was made judge, being in possession A VERDANT MISTAKE. Mr. Jayserp—"* Ten dollars on th’ little feller! I bet he gits thar fust,” “Allin favor uv it say aye,” propounded Six-shooter. “ Aye!” chorused Sharp and Hank. “All agin it say no. Motion 's kerried an’ Hank's free. Court's ‘journed,” gravely announced Six-shooter. Sharp thanked the judge for his kindn na most effusive man- it ner. “Which,” said Six-shoot- of a Cushing's manual, and ’ any on the morning of the trial sat on the bench primed to the very muzzle with parlia- mentary rules. Sharp was the lawyer's name, and he looked it. He rose to his feet, look- ed around, and began. with “ Most potent and highly in- tellectual judge "—a depre- catory wave of the hand from Six-shooter—" and grave and learned gentlemen of the jury "—twelve deprecatory waves of twelve hands from the vigilantes—“ representing as I do the defense in the case of the flourishing town of Poker Gulch versus Mr. Henry Jones, 1 “Whoa! sternly bel- lowed Six-shooter, pounding on the table with his gun. “Thar don’t ‘pear to be enny motion afore ther house.” “ Motion?” wonderingly queried Mr. Sharp. SQUAW Sant (ceriting to his mother in the east from Tuk-a-mo-nuk mountain, Washing. fon) —"* My wife, who is a dashing brunette, is an accomplished horsewoman, and should she appear in Central park with her favorite mount would cause a sensation among the four hun- dred,” etc, NO DOUBT OF IT. “ Yep, motion,” repeated Six-shooter, after glancing at the Cushing by way of reassurance. “May I look at your honor's law-book a minute or so?” asked Sharp, still perplexed. He looked and a light broke over his face. . " Excuse me for daring to doubt the author- ity of one so learned in the law as your honor, and allow me to move you, sir, that the GOING INSANE, reat wr prisoner be dis- charged.” “ Whar's a sec- ond to ther mo- tion?” said Six- shooter, scowling around with true judicial severity. In obedience to whispered instruc- tions from Sharp Horse - thief Hank bawled, * ther motio “Air ye all ready fer it?” roar- ed Six-shooter. Question!” howled Sharp. tlemanlike uv ‘im, seein’ as how I called ‘im down on his law-p'ints.” A growler—for there are growlers in every assemblage —tried to cast a damper over the general joy of Six-shoot- er's able conduct of the case by stating that “Hank had bin cl'ared,” but was silenced by the easy assurance that “Hank kin be strung enny time when thar’s nothin’ do- in’.” GROKGR KH CeRRt. HIS GRIP. Askins— Limberjaw, the politician, has a most cor- dial way of greeting an ac- quaintance, hasn't he?" Grimshaw —"Yes; he holds on to one’s hand as if he had inherited it.” HIS EVIL GENIUS STILL. Jones (who has slipped) —**Say, Mariar! I had thought that_my troubles with your mother were over; but" (Crash I bang 1) comicbooks.com