Judge — June 12, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wipe AN IDLE IDYL. (Fin de-sidcle rhymes.) DA ike @ butterty, Did flutter by On sea-breeze sigh ; ‘And ‘neath the low-hung moon A slow young coon Was wobbling nigh. A FOOL FOR A CLIENT. ONCE there was a very wealthy man. He said to himself, “1 will write my own will, and 1 will write it so that the lawyers shall not be able to make anything out of my estate, The document shall be absolutely unassail- able.” The will was made, and in process of time the wealthy man died. Then the lawyers began their work. The man was worth fifteen million dollars when he died, but fifteen years after his death there was just enough of his vast fortune left for the heart-broken heirs to erect a tombstone on which they inscribed these words, “ Gone, but not forgotten.” About this time the lawyers looked for another case. WILLIAM someRY sivETER, THE OMNIPRESENT PESSIMIST. AS Leame saunt'ring home this afternoon A sense of utter joy awoke in me, And with the singer sang I, "* Verily, These are rare days that wait on roseate June.” ‘The sky was almost cloudless, and the bay A sheet of silver ; while a trillion wells Of sound and scent wrought their enchanting spells, Meseemed to make sis the most perfect day, But at the crossing of two dusty ways One, travel-stained, my castle of content THERE WERE OTHERS. First cerm—' I want you to understand that "— SkconD GERM—"* You needn't put on airs, You are not the only microbe in the kiss.’ A TERRIBLE PROSPECT. Weary Raggles —" | hope Satan won't git a hold o me in de nex’ world.” Wandering Willie —" Why so, pard ?" Weary Raggles —" ‘Cause he's de bloke what finds work fer idle hands to do.” BROKEN ENGLISH. O'erset. my mind's calm sea turned turbulent, With the assurance ** Ae'd seen better days.” DWAR W, DARKARD, JUVENILE BUSINESS INSTINCT. Urcnin (under pier)—"' Yer kin bet dat Swipes under dere know: wiot he’s about. It’s a high-price oil-silk fish-line w'ot de dude is usi Ernet—'" I saw Count Hardupski last evenin; Cousin Tom—" Does he talk as brokenly as ever 7 Etnet—" My! yes, I heard him ask pa to loan him ten dollars before he left.” THE BRIGHT SIDE. se TTHERE'S one consolation about insomnia,” remark- ed the sufferer. “ What is that?” “While I lie awake I don't have nightmare.” ENTERPRISE, THAT clothier is get- ting A business advance Who reserved seats is giving With little boys’ pants. HARD ENOUGH. Summer boarder —“Ob, Mrs. Furrow! ill you let me have four-of your biggest doughnuts ?* Mrs. Furrow (highly flattered)— “Certainly. You kin have a dozen of ‘em.” Summer boarder —"Four will be enough. I want to use them for quoits.”” SAUCY. V, Hement—"' No, I will give you absolutely ScRAPPy SHRAGGS—"' Would yer mind loanin’ me a bit uv chalk 7” Mus, V. Hestest—"* What do you want of chalk?” Scrappy SHxaccs—''I want ter mark de *no-good sign on yer fence, madim.’ comicbooks.com