Judge — March 20, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"490 Suapge HE DIDN'T WANT IT. HE WAS a happy young fellow, and he came down the street swinging his cane with the air of owning the earth just as the electric car was turning the corner. Disdain- ing to hail it like a common mortal, he made a dive for it, clutching wildly at space. His cane cut the atmosphere in twain, his ten- dollar hat sought a resting-place in the gut- ter, and the elusive electric glided on; while the would-be passenger landed flat in the dust upon the opposite car-track. The heartless crowd laughed. A grin- THE PHENOMENAL KICK. ning street-arab shouted jeeringly, “Come to 1. Yauenack (Bif')-—"T'll knock that ball ™€ arms, me Medora!” while a lank individ- out of sight this time.” ual with the second-hand solemnity of an —— . undertaker drawled la- A WOMAN'S \ iN conically, “Say! air REASON, \\ \ yer goin’ ter take that car, young feller?” our offer of “No!” roared the artions George, infuriated victim. “I'm dee Tas doo od ‘ going to sit here all because Iam anx- summer.” . : ious to be married, _Heedidn't, though; or that I prefer you for just then the com- particularly to all = -— ing car swooped down NECESSARILY HANDICAPPED. the other men in Spon | blan;at; the irate Prorrietor—"* Does the new clerk seem to know the world, but be- of fifty knots an hour, anything about book-keeping ?” and the rapidity with HEAD BOOK-KEEPER—** Nothing at all, sir; but cause my dearest i then, you must remember he has never done anything friend, Susie Riv- which that man got uP before but teach double-entry in a business college.” ers, has a perfectly divine engagement-ring, and I would like to wear one like it.” ee[N accepting was only equaled by the velocity with which he had gone down, ‘The last that was seen of him by the interested Spectators, his animated coat-tails were a vanishing point in the distance. He didn’t want a car, on second thought. NO SNAKE THEN. SAINT PATRICK, not a sia or crime Would we now have to grieve Had you been born about the time When Adam lived with Eve, RLIZABETH A. VORE. INSIDE AND OUTSIDE. N THE dim hush of the cathedral aisle The incense swayed and swung ‘mid flowers and HIS NEED. prayers. Fis arsasanaas , The music rose and fell in rhythmic glide ; Lushing fon (wabbling in at one a.m.) Rich penitents brushed past with tipieg calle. —"M" (hic) dearsh, 1 was (hic) held u : ‘A Magdalen crouched near the altar-stair ;, Mrs, Lushington (with biting sar- ‘ sa 3. THE ostrict —" A-ha! this is something A child froze in the sculptured niche outside. casm)—" You certainly needed to be. good to ‘sit’on. I guess I'll hatch it out.—— RMMA PLAYTER SEABURY. SOME COLOR OF TRUTH. Ted—"What made Pat quarrel with his girl on Saint Patrick's day?” Ned—"1 suppose it had something to do with the green- eyed monster.” A CHANGE, EFORE we were married, With kiss and with vow 4. ——Well, I'm a ‘bird’ to mistake a foot. She would cling round my neck; but She walks on it now. ball for an egg.— A GREAT VIRTUE. THEY say they're making glass hats now ; T don't see how they do ‘em. But they've this merit, anyhow— ‘Their wearers can’t talk through ‘em. cw. OBJECTED TO. 66 \JHAT was the nature of the trouble you had with your last nurse-girl?” y SAVING THE WEAR AND TEAR. “She didn’t like it because SZ. Cones (going away for a week's visit with his wife)—" Rachel, | asked her to stay at home with . —But it’ i did you shtop der eighd-day glock?” the children.” Salient me” My foe-ons home team alll right.” comicbooks.com