Judge — March 20, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ape THE SNAKE’S LAMENT. . HERE came to New Jersey an exile of Erin, ‘Who bravely had battled with tempest and flood, By Saint Patrick driven; now at twilight repairing To wander alone in the rain-beaten mud. But the “lightning ” attracted his eye's sad devotion For it flashed o'er his own native isle of the ocean, Where oft, in the fire of men’s maudlin’ emotion, Tle'd heard the bold anthem of Erin go bragh. “* Oh, hard is my lot !" said the sad-hearted stranger. * The mosquito and pig to a covert can flee, But I have no refuge from famine and danger ; ‘A home and a country remain not to me.” But then on a sudden he grew very frisky At seeing hard by him a barrel of whisky; And though no doubt it appeared rather risky, In he went, murmuring “ Erin go bragh.” “ Erin, an exile bequeaths you his blessing,” Hissed the old snake, lying coiled in the cask. “Tl revisit your shores when you're slyly addressing Your respects to the spirits that come in the flask. Buried in rye, let my coils get in motion ; Fall be thy cups, sweetest isle of the ocean, ‘And thy coal-heaving sons sing aloud at each potion, ‘ Erin mavourneen—Erin go bragh !"" ONE OF THE PRESENTS. VERY LIKELY. “Murderer Duestrow of St. Louis em- ployed another murderer confined in the same prison to act as his man-servant.” Daily paper. E WAS probably spoken of by the prison authorities as the valet of the shadow of death. ALL FOR THE BEST. Cobwigger —" It was a good thing for Saint Patrick that Ireland ‘wasn’t situated in Africa?” O Hoolihan—" Phwyy so, sore?” Colwigger—" Look at the job he would have had driving out py- thons and boa-constrictors.” THE OPINION OF A HOUSE-HUNTER. 66Q)H, WHAT a perfectly de- lightful, great big bed- room!" exclaimed Mrs. Tenspot to the agent who was showing her a house with the view of renting it. “T beg your pardon, madam,” replied the agent, “ but that is not a bedroom. It is a closet.” “Acloset? Gracious! it’s too small entirely for a closet.” chicking, "packy an‘ gin ‘stead ob brin; spectin’, good husban’, yo’ do!” JAMES JAY O'CONNELL, ~ FOUND WANTING. Mn. G, W. JErrerson—"'Lize Johnsing sez yo' sed yo" gwine toe leabe me, Suze Jane.’ Mrs. G. W. Jurrerson (angrily) —" Yes, I be! When yo" dun steal a ess, no-’count cullud pussua |’ yo' dun go off an’ swap hit fo" in’ hit home toe yo’ fam'ly like a decent, self-re- Hooan—" How did yeg git thot oye?” Brocan—"‘ Oi cilibrated me birt'day lasht avenin’.” TRUE TO LIFE. *6(CREAT idea, that of Scrib- bler’s, in making a popu- list the hero of his latest novel. So original, so unlike the regulation plan!” “Yes? As how?” “Why, after a courtship full enough of calamity to satisfy the most exacting populist, he marries the girl and they live unhappy ever after.” AN AUSPICIOUS OCCA- SION. Muldoon—" Oi be afther hear- in’ thot O'Hooley is dead. He wor a foine felly.” O'Hoolihan—" Thrue fer yez, me bhoy. He doied happy, think- in’ phwat an iligant wake he'd give th’ bhoys on Saint Pathrick’s a ENTHUSIASM. SOVVHEN Fratters played Ham- let down at San Frustino did the audience egg him on when he reached his heroics?” “Not exactly. They egged TWO REASONS WHY THE BICYCLE WILL NOT TAKE THE PLACE OF THE HORSE. Farmer Uptosnuff says you can't plow with them "* worth shucks.”” when he has a load, Mr. Booze finds that a fellow can’t rely on them to take him safely home comicbooks.com