Judge — March 13, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HARDLY APPLICABLE. FARMER GREEN! FARMER Bro’ EVENING CONVERSATION. Mrs, Hohmboddie—“\ went to that lovely orchestra concert to-day, and the director is so splendid! He has a bald spot on the top of his hea Mr. Hohmboddie— 1 don't see anything very splendid about that." Mfrs. Hohmboddie— Ob, | meant it was such a pity, for the rest of him is so nice and his back expressed so much.” Mr. Hohmboddie—* How about the music ?” Mrs. Hohmboddie—" It was simply divine! You know how I love the violin, It always makes me feel so rigid.” Mr. Hohmboddie— Rigid?" Mrs. Hohmboddie— Of course, rigid, They had twenty violins playing one piece, and when they stopped my neck and jaws were stiff! It was fully five minutes before I could move them. Yes, rigid is the word. Oh, but how I did revel in it!” Mr, Hohmboddie — \n being rigid?” Mrs. Hohmboddie —" No, in those dear violins " Mr, Hokmboddie —" But do you mean to say you were rigid at the time you were COnntOCnNE OTE ea PIC AUXILIARY, ‘S-st, Jim! They me eye on wun ov de greates’ trainin'-groun's fer yer on de map Jim Tawk—** Whare ?* TRAINER—"*'S-h ! it’s de mammoth cave." Just Tawk—"" Wot good is a cave fer trainin’ ?” TRAINER—" Look at de great practice yer'll get wid yer echo,” “+ No wonder the country is goin’ to the dogs. Josiah.” ; “ * Waval, p'taps it is, Reuben—but it looks ter me ez ef the dogs wuz goin’ to ther country. reveling? I should think that even a contortionist could scarcely perform a feat of that sort.”” Mrs. Hohmboddie — Dear, there wasn't any contortion- ist. Don’t you understand? It was a concert of violins, and they played —are you making fun of me?—Well! I sha'n’t tell you one thing they played, nor one other word about it. So, now :” MLS meiner, HOW IT ENDED. ‘And what did she say when you proposed ?” “Well, first she said that I had none of those stable qualities which a woman requires in a husband : then she said that { should have something more than a meagre salary to offer a woman before I proposed marriage ; she next said that she considered me the most fickle, improvident, unreliable and vacillating of my sex.” Aucy—" The deuce! ‘That was an awful turning-down io give a man before refusing him.” Re But she didn’t—she accepted me." comicbooks.com