Judge — March 13, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.0 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.5¢ One copy, for thirteen weeks nas Including the Curistuas Juoce. FOKRIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te att Soreien countries im the postal union, $0.00 THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. © Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. 7 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of JupGe are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. QO has too many Republican parties. [NVITATION TO LIQUIDS—" Come, let us inaugurate.” eee THE STATE that legalizes prize-fighting is precisely fitted for that kind of business. TO THE GODDES! parting guest WHY BLAME that western man who has fifteen He is merely forming a wives? trust. UT OF THE SMOKE of that Grecian fire ought to come a dead sultan and a dis- membered government. THE POWERS are doing their utmost to save the lives of Turkish assassins. Christians must take care of themselves cee E VENTURE the predic- tion that Chicago will let the Easter hat alone. Even that town doesn’t want a revolution SIXTY-FIVE CASES of sui- cide at Monte Carlo during the present season; and yet there are persons who say these are not hard times, eee ‘eCAN A MAN play whist and be a good Chris- tian?” asks a Buffalo clergyman, Not if he loses most of the games, we think, eee —"* Hol’ on, Charlie SPEAKING of the civil service, if a man can tell which is the darkest street in Cairo does it necessarily follow that he knows how to saw wood ? D®: TALMAGE called a Chicas 9 reporter “‘a heroic and hemispheric and planetary liar,” and immediately the paper for which the reporter worked doubled his salary. LARGE MONUMENT was recently stolen from a cemetery in Lan- caster, Massachusetts. It is lucky for its occupant that the thief didn’t take the grave, too. . *HURRAH FOR PAPA" said a dispatch to Senator Mason of Illi- nois directly after his election. It came from his nine children, and it would be appropriate from that source any day in the year. = CHIMAY WOMAN bought her freedom for seventy-five thousand francs a year and therefore has a right to it; but it inflicts great ap- prehension and extra watchfulness on every married woman in Europe. T IS GRATIFYING to know that the bible on which McKinley will take the oath is purely an American production; but there is unavoid- ably matter for regret in the fact that the original writings were done else- where. F QUESTIONABLE But you were just shaved this morning, Uncle Silas.” s—""'L know thet ; but it ‘ud be downright wasteful ter miss er bar- EXCESSIVE RAPIDITY. oe [AbY. COOK and Mrs, Woodhull Martin,” says an Irish newspaper, “are two of the most advanced of our new women,” These ladies have been advancing so long and so rapidly that they ought long since to have gone over the border. HIS BEST DISCOVERY. DR. NANSEN has discovered a way to profit—through lectures and books—from his experiences in the arctic regions that beats the dis- covery of the pole by many points; and in all his future explorations the pole will be studiously omitted. As to the other explorers, they can't get rich and will have to go again. BOOM AND BUSINESS. HE INAUGURATION means prosperity. Such a change from the bad business of the last three or four years is not to be had within any twenty-four hours; but if the extra session of congress does its tariff work speedily there will be an improvement better than the mere boom which, though inspiring, is generally transient. We have had the boom; and now for the business. A DIVIDED HOUSE. HE SILVER M of Kentucky declare that the sound-money Dem- ocrats shall keep out of their party councils, Probably they will allow them to vote, but presently they may insist on separate ballot-boxes. Then it will be necessary to begin to shoot, and the Kentucky family vendetta lasts long and kills many. The Courier-Journal has loaded its revolver and is casually calling for arbitration. LIBERTY IN FULL. G ENERAL GOMEZ declares that Cuba will have all or nothing. Why not? The Cu- bans are not worse off than the Spaniards in Madrid and those in Cuba. That reform should have been promised is evidence of Spanish weakness that can- not outlast Cuban heroism; for Spain never relents until she is helpless against compromise. Liberty in Cuba under any kind of Spanish control would be as absurd and dangerous as a sur- render to hungry wolves. CAPITAL AND COM- MUNE. WE ARE TOLD by the Sia that legislative investiga- tions of trusts are outrageous attacks on legitimate business; whereas the investigators think that is just what the trusts may be truthfully called, and they began it. It is difficult to tell where these assaults on combi- nations of capital should begin and end; but it is certain that if the com- munistic idea ever prevails no man will have more than a dollar and a half except at the peril of his money and his life. CONOMY. I'm goin’ ter git shave HAS SIMPLICITY GONE DEAD? WESTERN PAPER thinks the “struggling masses” don’t want show or ostentation at the inauguration, Dr. Rainsford will observe that he has builded worse than he suspected. The simplicity idea has gone so far, it will presently be insisted that the new president shall attire himself in sackcloth, a slouch hat, a few ashes, and cowhide boots liberally plastered with Ohio mud. Though, to be sure, the struggling masses are not half as foolish as the struggling newspapers that assume to represent them. RIGHT ON! OMEN ARE LECTURING on symbolism in dramatic art, on the cultivation of the faculties, on the epistle to the Hebrews, and on rainy-day skirts. ‘These topics cover considerable ground; but they are not a tithe of the intellectual work, in politics and art, that women are con- sidering all over the world. Then, too, we have in this town a woman snow-shoveler and a sandwich-woman. In the face of this situation how odd seems the old remark that woman should stay within her sphere. The fogies might as well command her not to elope. comicbooks.com