Judge — January 9, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photo. by Aimé Dupont. JUDGE'S FAVORITE: VIRGINIA EARLE IN ‘THE GEISHA.” So, Virgie, dreams at times come true! ‘This was our fondest dream for you~ ‘To see you on the classic height Which now you grace. by artist's right. Unspoilt and brave, the path you tread— ‘Your heart is large, but not your head. CLOSE TO IT. Mrs. Southeast —“ Sarah Melindy, are you any relation to old Mr. Washington, the Methodist preacher ?° Sarah Melindy Washington —“\ dunno whether I is or not, but his pap’s pap is half- brother to my pap’s pap.” AN UNHARMONIOUS CONCLUSION. W'! 'N he sang in a town on the western frontier His audience all passed a vote ‘That the pitch of bis voice, with some feathers combined, Would make him an elegant coat. uae SUPERSTITION. HIRTEEN for dinner! Cruel fate! How came it so? Thirteen for dinner ! Oh, my hair will turn to snow ! ‘Alea est jacta ! I will certainly go mad. Yet, vengeful gods, forgive me, E’en of madness I'd be glad. Thirteen for dinner ! "Twas some enemy's design. Thirteen for dinner— And with clams for only nine! MAM ST, JONN-BRAMNALL, WHY THEY LAUGHED. HE WAS a famous pianist and his long hair and beard were his pride and joy. They were at the theatre and the scenes of the play oc- curred in a barber-shop. Suddenly he began to laugh heartily. "What is the matter? I see nothing funny on the stage,” she inquired, “I was just thinking,” said he, “how the people would ap- plaud if I should go up on the stage and have my hair cut and get shaved.” She was silent. A HOLIDAY WISH. First TRaMP— I wish my name was Asia,” SECOND TRAMP—** Why?” First 1RaMP—" Have you never heard of the Turkey in Asia?” Suddenly she began to laugh. “What amuses you?" he inquired. “I don't see anything funny occurring.’ “Twas just thinking,” said she, “how foolish you would feel if the audience encored you.” THE FIRST CLOUDS. In the drawing-room—one week after marriage. 66 DLEASE don't smoke here, my own, You'll ruin drapery and curtain ; And, what's more serious, You'll undermine your health, I’m certain !"" In the library—a fortnight after marriage. ** You shouldn't smoke here, Fred. Unless you want to split my head !” In the kitchen—a month after marriage. “You can't smoke here !” . . So I've sworn off? Oh, no! Go to the club? Ill maybe later. Just now, down cellar, | ‘Smoke with the furnace, like a crater. EDWARD W, BARNARD, . . . A FALSE START. Inquiring friend (to book-maker)—" hear B ge 1, AN ADVERTISING COUP. While out skating the other day Einestein was struck with a brilliant idea — THE MORAL. Old Hoon—“\ have just been reading the account of a railroad wreck in which every occupant of the smok- ing-car was more or less injured, while all the rest of the passen- gers on the train es- caped without harm.’ Mrs. Hoon (tri« umphantly) —“ There, Ezra! That is another warning against the use of tobacco, NIVER give up, me b’y. avenif ye break down complately. DIFFERENCE IN TIME, His yacs—"" Say, my fren’, how far ‘s the nearest saloon from here? Man —" Ol His Jacs— bout five minutes’ walk " Five minutes’ walk fer you, er fer me?” that your daughter Grace discarded her favorite suitor to-day and eloped with a French count?” Book-maker—“ True. They're off — with the favorite left at the post.” 2, AN ADVERTISING COUP. —which, after securing the necessary implements, he soon executed an excellent “ad” for the “firm, comicbooks.com