Judge — December 12, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. James—* There’s no use talking, Mary; this extrava- gance will have to be stopped. Why, it costs me more to run this house than it does my business. ‘It's awful."” Mary—" Well, James, if you think you can manage things any better I'm willing for you to try.” ‘JAMeS—"All right. Get me the basket ; I'll goto market.” ENTRAL MARKEP } James—"" By George! this going to market ain't all it’s cracked up to be. Here, sonny ; carry this basket for me.” Sonny—"All right,'sir.” . ‘There ! I've forgotten the smear-kase. ever—— Look out when you cross the street, sonny.” Sonny—"' Ves, sir.” How- —(Bang! 1) D—1-1—1" Suage UNSATISFIED. GE wore a rose in ber hair, And it was a day in June. No other day was so rare, And yet I had kissed too soon. What else should one propose ** Under the rose"? \ \ I ut swiftly months pass, till now The mistletoe decks her hair ; And I have uttered a vow ‘Phat kisses I'll forbear. Yet still she seems put out. What is it about ? THE BOSTONESE. ‘OR the convenience of those who may have occasion to enter within the sacred precincts of the literary areopagus of the western world we proffer a few expressions from the Bostonese, with translations in the vernac- ular. Intellectual indigent— Blockhead, Albuminous prevarication— A white lie, Post - nocturnal tion—Breakfast. Meridian accubation—Din- recupera- ner. Intercameral tion—Door, Somnambulistic peripatet- ic —One who walks in his sleep. Lineamenta: indenta- tions—Dimples. Transmigratory mendi- cant—A tramp. Promiscuous _proletari- at—The common herd. Supererogatory dilettan teish—Bostonian, EDWARD CLAYTON SAVAGE ABOUT THE SIZE OF IT. SSYVELL, now that you tell us how much it costs to go to Europe.” “All you've got and all § you can borrow over there.” communica- ‘ monish to burn. monish ?” A NATURAL QUES- TION. Mr. Chapleigh (sudden- ly)—“"1 have an idea!” Miss Alethea (interest ed)—" Whose is it?” MusseNcer—"* Did you ring for a boy. sir? James—*' Yes. Just run up to my house and tell my wife that she'd better attend to the marketing herself, as I shall be detained at the office till after dark.” PERTINENT QUERY. Dere goes Hockheimer. Dot man has got Isaacs—"" Vare dit he got a holut ohf any confederate “NOT THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT,” A MIRACLE IF TRUE. +S WHY do the neighbors doubt Winson’s word ?" “Simply for the reason that he says he built his new house within the architect's original estimate.” A BEAUTY-SPOILER. ¢+ PRETTY thing, that of Tennyson's, about the brook going on forever.” “Yes, very.” “But, then, the same thing might have been said about a grease-spot.” comicbooks.com