Judge, 1896-12-05 · page 5 of 16
Judge — December 5, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Lynched"** — A darkly cynical joke about a lynching victim, presented as casual conversation. The humor relies on grotesque irony about the corpse's appearance. **"Society Note"** — Satirizes frontier "justice" by reporting a man's death by vigilante hanging as a routine social announcement, with monetary compensation to his fiancée presented matter-of-factly. **"The Irish of It"** — Ethnic stereotype humor mocking Irish immigrants' inability to understand German, playing on period prejudices about language and assimilation. **Other pieces** — Include wordplay jokes ("His Version"), gentle domestic humor, and observational comedy about train schedules and urban commuting. The overall tone reflects Judge magazine's satirical approach to American social issues, using crude humor, ethnic caricature, and dark satire common to 1890s-era publications. Modern readers would find the lynching content particularly disturbing—presented as comedy rather than tragedy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LYNCHED. Broxco Pete—"* Yes, lady ; I wuz wid yer son w’en he died, He looked jes’ like an angel, too, w'en he wuz dyin’. He did?” jes; indeed he did—swingin’ back an’ forth in de air, ye know, almost ez if he had wings.” A ROMANCE, 3 \SSING away, away, Was the heart of a beautiful Day That fell in love with Night ; So on their journey, just begun, They paused and Shadow made them one And named them—Twilight. A MITIGATION. Mr. Barlow —" That man who killed his wife has been sentenced to imprisonment for life.” Mrs. Barlow— But 1 suppose be will get several years off for good be- havior.” SOCIETY NOTE. (From the Pine Flat Echo.) HE engagement between the beautiful Miss Mollie Higgins of Whackerville and Mr. Edward Simpsing of this place has been broken off. Edward was found hanging to a cotton-wood tree near the saw-mill on Tuesday. ‘The vigilantes called on him on Monday night. To square things all around the boys sent a purse of nine dollars to Miss Mollie yesterday, together with a letter of regret. turkey." Mudge ed Mr. Clingstone: HIS SUPERIOR JUDGMENT. Joun—‘* Will you keep quiet, Maria? I guess 7 know how to choose a INDEFINITE, oe HAT time does the ten-o'clock train usually get in?” ask- He had but recently f moved to Lonesomehurst, Y and was now at the sta- tion to meet a friend who was to come on that train. “ What train are you asking for?" replied the station-master, “The ten-o'clock train, What time does it usually get in?” “Generally not till next day.” HIS VERSION, ‘¢P)IDNT Mr. Jones get where in time, mamma?" “ What do you mean, Harry?" “Why, you said the late Mr, Jones.” PROVIDENTIAL AWARD. Mr. James Hickey wanted “plenty of time”— THE IRISH OF IT. German woman (calling ber little child) —* Komm' hierher, mein kind.” Irishman (passing by)—" Faith, how kin yez ixpict a little kid loike thot U undershtand yez? Phy don't yez shpake t’ him in English?” “THE PLAY ’S THE THING.” WEHEN heard the brazen cornet Enchantment distance lends ; But I can play the cornet And yet I keep my friends. My neighbors even praise me, For this is how they view it, That I can play the cornet, Yet never, never do it. on TEN MILES FROM THE CITY. se ARE you waiting for a train?” asked the countryman as he came on the platform. And the commuter, who had been there for two hours and had missed three important city engagements, replied very calmly, “Certainly not. 1 am down here by my doctor's orders, taking a sun-bath.” —and got it. Joun (an hour later)—*— butcher ! — !— 1 —— 1 — I" comicbooks.com